무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I don\'t want it.

작성자: 윤*혜
2023-05-16 493

회원님의 영작문

Actually, I don't want to go to war and fight for my country,
Soldiers are good people, but the country's treatment of soldiers and people's perception of them are too low.
So I don't want to die for my country.
And I think when everyone who can fight dies, a woman calls it.
I don't want to go to a place where even a trained persons die.
Because, this country hurt me so hard and I don't love my country.
So, if they don't contact me and ask me to fight, I'm go to run away.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Da Hye,

Thank you for doing your homework. I want to provide some feedback to help you improve your writing. Firstly, when expressing a general statement, it is better to use "is" instead of "are" in the sentence "Soldiers are good people, but the country's treatment of soldiers and people's perception of them are too low." Additionally, it would be more effective to explain why the country's treatment of soldiers is perceived as low and how people view them negatively. Moreover, when mentioning that a woman would call for war after everyone capable of fighting dies, it would be clearer to state the reason behind this belief. Expanding on your thoughts and providing more context will help the reader better understand your perspective. Furthermore, try to elaborate on how the country has hurt you deeply and affected your feelings towards it. Providing specific examples or experiences can strengthen your argument. Lastly, consider using a more neutral tone when discussing your desire to run away. Exploring alternative options or expressing your concerns in a less confrontational manner can contribute to a more balanced discussion. Keep practicing your writing skills and expressing your thoughts. By refining your grammar and expanding on your ideas, you will enhance your ability to convey your viewpoint effectively. I will discuss more in our class. See you! ^^

~Teacher Cathy

 

Actually, I don't want to go to war and fight for my country,

>> Actually, I don't want to go to war and fight for my country.
Soldiers are good people, but the country's treatment of soldiers and people's perception of them are too low.

>> Soldiers are good people, but the country's treatment of soldiers and people's perception of them is too low.
So I don't want to die for my country.

>> So, I don't want to die for my country.
And I think when everyone who can fight dies, a woman calls it.

>> And I believe that when everyone who is capable of fighting dies, it is then left to a woman to call for it.
I don't want to go to a place where even a trained persons die.

>> I don't want to go to a place where even trained individuals die.
Because, this country hurt me so hard and I don't love my country.

>> Because this country has hurt me deeply, and I don't have love for it.
So, if they don't contact me and ask me to fight, I'm go to run away.

>> Therefore, if they contact me and ask me to fight, I will choose to run away.

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
127584 Homework 박*민 완료 2023-04-18 3
127583 What toy do you enjoy playing the most? 박*현 완료 2023-04-18 167
127582 homework 신*현 완료 2023-04-18 252
127581 homework 04.18 최*� 완료 2023-04-18 246
127580 How many languages do you know? Would you like to learn more? 정*화 완료 2023-04-18 168
127579 Are friends sometimes more important than family? 김*인 완료 2023-04-18 5
127578 It’s more important for school children to learn about their... 앨* 완료 2023-04-18 0
127577 Homework 최*영 완료 2023-04-18 327
127576 How many languages do you know? Would you like to learn more? 신*섭 완료 2023-04-18 165
127575 Homework 박*은 완료 2023-04-18 0
127574 Tuesday Homework 류*우 완료 2023-04-18 241
127573 Home work 김*란 완료 2023-04-18 0
127572 When did you last have an overnight stay in another city? 이*태 완료 2023-04-18 152
127571 My pronunciation! 김*윤 완료 2023-04-18 119
127570 Which one are you usually low on? 이*태 완료 2023-04-18 95
127569 Homework 신*화 완료 2023-04-18 111
127568 Homework 김*우 완료 2023-04-18 133
127567 Homework 함*주 완료 2023-04-18 3
127566 숙제 김*현 완료 2023-04-18 243
127565 What things do you need to consider when setting a goal 전*영 완료 2023-04-18 316

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]