¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think they are not good polices.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çý
2023-05-15 1026

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think police is a noble job.
They fight crime for others, but they get paid less.
So I respect the police.
But the cops I've met disappoint me.
They have high professional pride, but they run away when people ask for help, and there are entertainment establishments and police involved in crimes.
And their actions don't help.
This is because they know that they need a polite attitude when they ask for help.
But they are always rude.
That's why I feel uncomfortable facing the police and reluctan.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Da Hye,

Great job on completing your homework! Your response discussing the noble nature of police work and sharing your observations about their actions demonstrates critical thinking and thoughtful analysis. Your thoughts and insights are valuable. By providing specific examples or anecdotes, you can further support your observations about police officers. Additionally, working on expanding your vocabulary and using synonyms will help to avoid repetitive language. For example, you could replace "disappoint" with "let down" and "reluctant" with "hesitant." I want to commend you on expressing your ideas and concerns about the police. It takes courage to share your thoughts openly. As you continue to practice your writing skills, your ability to express your viewpoints will become even stronger. Remember, writing is a journey, and every step you take brings you closer to becoming an excellent writer in English. Keep up the great work. With dedication and perseverance, you will continue to improve and excel in English writing.

~Teacher Cathy

 

I think police is a noble job.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I think being a police officer is a noble profession.
They fight crime for others, but they get paid less.

>>CORRECT

OR>>They work to fight crime and protect others, despite being paid less compared to some other professions.
So I respect the police.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Therefore, I have a great deal of respect for the police.
But the cops I've met disappoint me.

>>CORRECT

OR>>However, the encounters I have had with police officers have left me disappointed.
They have high professional pride, but they run away when people ask for help, and there are entertainment establishments and police involved in crimes.

>>CORRECT

OR>>While they possess a strong sense of professional pride, they tend to avoid helping people when asked, and there are cases where police officers are involved in crimes or connected to entertainment establishments.
And their actions don't help.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Their actions do not inspire confidence or provide the assistance that is needed.
This is because they know that they need a polite attitude when they ask for help. But they are always rude.

>>This could be due to their understanding that a polite attitude is necessary when seeking help, yet they consistently display rudeness.
That's why I feel uncomfortable facing the police and reluctan.

>> As a result, I often feel uncomfortable and hesitant when interacting with the police.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131100 9/15 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 2455
131099 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1311
131098 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1787
131097 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1259
131096 Trust needs time °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 4
131095 What makes you want to go to school? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1153
131094 What are the activities that you may enjoy at the park? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 2245
131093 What do you love about your city? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1659
131092 What can you say about your English class at school? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1309
131091 Do you want to attend an international school? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 2067
131090 Who do people need hobbies? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1684
131089 Homework-230915 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 2
131088 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1525
131087 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1215
131086 How do you think you can build a trusting relationship with... ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-16 1910
131085 What¡¯s the worst natural disaster in your opinion? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-16 1441
131084 Have you ever had any memorable swimming experiences or... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-16 1553
131083 How does a computer help us learn and have fun? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 1625
131082 Do you think that parents should have the right to opt their... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 4
131081 How do people typically unwind and de-stress on Fridays? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04