¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think they are not good polices.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çý
2023-05-15 1727

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think police is a noble job.
They fight crime for others, but they get paid less.
So I respect the police.
But the cops I've met disappoint me.
They have high professional pride, but they run away when people ask for help, and there are entertainment establishments and police involved in crimes.
And their actions don't help.
This is because they know that they need a polite attitude when they ask for help.
But they are always rude.
That's why I feel uncomfortable facing the police and reluctan.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Da Hye,

Great job on completing your homework! Your response discussing the noble nature of police work and sharing your observations about their actions demonstrates critical thinking and thoughtful analysis. Your thoughts and insights are valuable. By providing specific examples or anecdotes, you can further support your observations about police officers. Additionally, working on expanding your vocabulary and using synonyms will help to avoid repetitive language. For example, you could replace "disappoint" with "let down" and "reluctant" with "hesitant." I want to commend you on expressing your ideas and concerns about the police. It takes courage to share your thoughts openly. As you continue to practice your writing skills, your ability to express your viewpoints will become even stronger. Remember, writing is a journey, and every step you take brings you closer to becoming an excellent writer in English. Keep up the great work. With dedication and perseverance, you will continue to improve and excel in English writing.

~Teacher Cathy

 

I think police is a noble job.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I think being a police officer is a noble profession.
They fight crime for others, but they get paid less.

>>CORRECT

OR>>They work to fight crime and protect others, despite being paid less compared to some other professions.
So I respect the police.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Therefore, I have a great deal of respect for the police.
But the cops I've met disappoint me.

>>CORRECT

OR>>However, the encounters I have had with police officers have left me disappointed.
They have high professional pride, but they run away when people ask for help, and there are entertainment establishments and police involved in crimes.

>>CORRECT

OR>>While they possess a strong sense of professional pride, they tend to avoid helping people when asked, and there are cases where police officers are involved in crimes or connected to entertainment establishments.
And their actions don't help.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Their actions do not inspire confidence or provide the assistance that is needed.
This is because they know that they need a polite attitude when they ask for help. But they are always rude.

>>This could be due to their understanding that a polite attitude is necessary when seeking help, yet they consistently display rudeness.
That's why I feel uncomfortable facing the police and reluctan.

>> As a result, I often feel uncomfortable and hesitant when interacting with the police.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137664 HOMEWORK FOR 06.06.2024 WRITING TASK: When should someone seek... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-07 6
137663 How can you misinterpret someone¡¯s body language? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-07 1041
137662 How to handle situations with disagreement ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-07 1261
137661 What are the usual first impressions you give to others? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-07 1
137660 How to maintain a good friendship ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-06 13
137659 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-06 1179
137658 What is the impression you want your audience to take away from... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-06 1614
137657 homework 06.06 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-06-06 1078
137656 a bad person ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-06 1
137655 in a good mood ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-06 1
137654 Do you like wearing white clothes? Why or why not? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-06 1413
137653 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-06 1
137652 Writing Task: What opinion would you present at a meeting about... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-06 1294
137651 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-06 1045
137650 How does the perspective that obesity is the result of eating... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-06 1132
137649 What do you think your midlife crisis will be like? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-06 1571
137648 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 1324
137647 Have you ever gotten lost while traveling? If so, tell me about... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 0
137646 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 1163
137645 2024.06.05 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-06-05 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04