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영작교정 게시판

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Are you pressured by your family to act in a certain way?

작성자: 이*은
2023-05-15 851

회원님의 영작문

My parents are generous people but are strict about the time to go home for me. After I became an adult, I want to stay outside with my friends until around 12 a.m., but my parents always says, "You have to come back at least 10 p.m." It's too early to go home, so I think it cannot be justified. Even the most of my friends don't need to go home at that time. Nevertheless, I couldn't help follow my parents requirement because I was living in their house. They are the 'early birds', who wake up at 6 a.m. and go to bed 10 a.m.. Therefore, my sister and I have to adjust to their life style, to respect their biorhythms. I think there are so many advantages for us in that we can spend time more effectively, but I have some regrets about the time when I cannot enjoy. However, after I moving out from my house, I fantastically enjoy freedom. And I guess my parents also know how freely I'm living now.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Ko Eun!
Thank you for doing your homework and for always exerting effort in expressing yourself. It is really nice to know a lot of things about you. I'm happy that you get to enjoy doing things that you like freely. Just take note of some minor corrections on your composition.
-T. Caitlyn
My parents are generous people but are strict about the time to go home for me. 
>> My parents are generous but are strict about the time for me to go home. 
After I became an adult, I want to stay outside with my friends until around 12 a.m., but my parents always says, "You have to come back at least 10 p.m." 
>> After I became an adult, I want to stay outside with my friends until around 12 a.m., but my parents always say, "You have to come back by at least 10 p.m." 
It's too early to go home, so I think it cannot be justified. 
>> I think that's still too early to go home.
Even the most of my friends don't need to go home at that time. 
>> Even most of my friends don't need to go home at that time.
Nevertheless, I couldn't help follow my parents requirement because I was living in their house. 
>> Nevertheless, I couldn't help but follow my parents' condition because I was living in their house. 
They are the 'early birds', who wake up at 6 a.m. and go to bed 10 a.m.. 
>> They are early birds, who wake up at 6 a.m. and go to bed at 10 p.m.
Therefore, my sister and I have to adjust to their life style, to respect their biorhythms. 
>> Therefore, my sister and I have to adjust to their lifestyle, to respect their biorhythms. 
I think there are so many advantages for us in that we can spend time more effectively, but I have some regrets about the time when I cannot enjoy. 
>> I think there are so many advantages for us like spending time productively, but I also have regrets for not spending my time to enjoy.
However, after I moving out from my house, I fantastically enjoy freedom. 
>> However, after I moved out of our hose, I fantastically enjoy freedom.
And I guess my parents also know how freely I'm living now.
>> CORRECT
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01
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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04

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