¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-05-15 1099

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, T.Donna.
It's a greatest weather today.
There was no patient, so I imagined if I could go outside and drink.
As I told you, I feel emptiness these days.
I am thinking of other joyful hobby beside of whiskey.
Alcohol and food doesn't make me feel better anymore.
What can make me feel happier?
Happiness is just an emotion that only lasts short time.
It depends on me and I know that.
One of our new manager resigned, and another staff told us that she wanted to resign.
These things make me more sad, because of my strong empathy.
Maybe I can play a computer game or watch dramas on Neflix.
Or, I can try to learn to play guitar.
But, I don't want to do anything at least for now.
Warm wind is stimulating my face.
Now I am enjoying it.
There is rarely patient, and I don't know why.
I think that Dr.MJ may be worring about it so much now.
However, I don't care.
Daily profit has no significant meaning, I am sure.
More important thing is the strong mind.
I need to recharge.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello once again, Dr. Kim!

I had a great day as well this Monday. I thought of lying down the couch and catching some sleep since I was totally beat from yesterday's concert. Anyway, I am certain that your patients came flocking by in the afternoon. Perhaps Monday is also their busy day so, making appointments were secondary on their list.

I am not sure if being unhappy about food and whisky is that bad. I think that you can take advantage of this opportunity to cut down your weight as well as lower your sugar levels. There is this brighter side of unhappiness after all. However, too much dissatisfaction may lead to depression and you do not like that to happen. The secret is keeping the mind busy searching for things that will make us happy. Sometimes, we have human impulses that makes us do whatever we want. At times, when I feel empty, I walk and think. I sit somewhere as if no one knows me. I talk to ordinary people I meet along the way. Also, I donate all the lose coins or my money in my pocket to the blind or buy anything from the old vendors to make them happy. I believe that in simple ways, if I can make other people happy, it can make me feel fulfilled and happy too somehow. 

I know that deep within your heart, you know how you can make yourself free from emptiness. It is filling others with joy and it comes comes back to us in many folds.

Most of my grammar suggestions below are the use of the article 'a'. Read your composition again below and take note of them well. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. By now, I hope that you can feel a lot better.

Have a great evening!

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

It's a greatest weather today.
>>  It's a great weather today.

There was no patient, so I imagined if I could go outside and drink.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

As I told you, I feel emptiness these days.
>> Correct!

I am thinking of other joyful hobby beside of whiskey.
>> I am thinking of other joyful hobbies beside whiskey.

Alcohol and food doesn't make me feel better anymore.
>> Alcohol and food don't make me feel better anymore.

What can make me feel happier?
>> Correct!

Happiness is just an emotion that only lasts short time.
>> Happiness is just an emotion that only lasts for a short time.

It depends on me and I know that.
>> Correct!

One of our new manager resigned, and another staff told us that she wanted to resign.
>> Correct!
Or: 
One of our new manager resigned, and another staff told us that she wanted to resign too.

These things make me more sad, because of my strong empathy.
>> Correct!

Maybe I can play a computer game or watch dramas on Neflix.
>> Correct!

Or, I can try to learn to play guitar.
>> Correct!

But, I don't want to do anything at least for now.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

Warm wind is stimulating my face.
>> Correct!

Now I am enjoying it.
>> Correct!

There is rarely patient, and I don't know why.
>> There is rarely a patient, and I don't know why.

I think that Dr.MJ may be worring about it so much now.
>> Correct!

However, I don't care.
>> Correct!

Daily profit has no significant meaning, I am sure.
>> Correct!

More important thing is the strong mind.
>> The more important thing is a strong mind.

I need to recharge.
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128123 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 0
128122 Do you want to have a pet? What kind of pet do you want to take... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 2
128121 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 429
128120 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 414
128119 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 404
128118 Pros and cons about public transportation ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 2
128117 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 1
128116 Homework for 05/09 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 1
128115 What have you lost while traveling? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 1
128114 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 577
128113 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-10 394
128112 We should learn a second language at school. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 5
128111 Leesoon À±*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 504
128110 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 671
128109 If you have an animal, what animal would you want to be and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 695
128108 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1
128107 ENERGY! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 590
128106 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 432
128105 The insects I\'m afraid of ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 623
128104 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04