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I think the people\'s born in the world have seen intelligence except.

작성자: 윤*혜
2023-05-12 970

회원님의 영작문

I think when the people's born, We have same intelligence except.
Because we are same species, and i think our brain's size is all most same.
But our living conditions, through genes, and personality is different so we have ditfferent knowledge.
I know when a child, we can more understand and most fast develope in life.
So actually the people's born have an similar intelligence when they're born in the wold.

And I mistook the homework section and wrote the homework for May 8th in the 10th section.
Write down the homework for the 10th in the column of May 8th I'm really sorry.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Da Hye,

Great job on completing your homework and sharing your thoughts on intelligence and its connection to our birth! It's evident that you've put thought into the topic and made some interesting points. Let's take a closer look at your ideas and how we can further improve them. Firstly, it's important to note that while there are certain commonalities in intelligence among individuals at birth, there may also be some individual differences that contribute to varying levels of intellectual capacity. Instead of saying "same intelligence except," we can say " same level of intelligence, except for some individual differences." to convey the idea more accurately. You mentioned that our brain size is almost the same, which is a valid point. However, it's essential to consider that intelligence is influenced by various factors beyond brain size. These factors include our living conditions, genetic makeup, and personality traits. So, it's more accurate to say that our intelligence can differ due to these varying circumstances. Regarding your insight about children's development, it's true that they have a remarkable capacity to understand and learn rapidly. You can enhance your point by mentioning that this accelerated development during childhood contributes to the acquisition of knowledge and skills.

 Overall, your ideas are insightful and demonstrate critical thinking. To enhance your response further, try to provide examples or evidence to support your points. Additionally, focusing on clear sentence structure and grammar will make your ideas even more impactful. Regarding your mistake with the homework section, no worries! It happens to everyone. Thank you for letting me know, and please make sure to write the homework for the 10th in the designated column for May 8th. I appreciate your attention to detail and dedication to completing your assignments. Keep up the excellent work and continue expressing your thoughts and ideas with confidence! You're making great progress, and I'm proud of your commitment to learning.

~Teacher Cathy

 

I think when the people's born, We have same intelligence except.

>>I think that when people are born, we have the same level of intelligence, except for some individual differences.
Because we are same species, and i think our brain's size is all most same.

>> Because we belong to the same species, and I believe our brain size is almost the same.
But our living conditions, through genes, and personality is different so we have ditfferent knowledge.

>> However, our living conditions, genetic makeup, and personalities are different, so we acquire different knowledge.
I know when a child, we can more understand and most fast develope in life.

>> I understand that as children, we have a greater capacity for understanding and faster development in life.
So actually the people's born have an similar intelligence when they're born in the wold.
>> Therefore, it can be said that people are born with a similar level of intelligence when they enter the world.
And I mistook the homework section and wrote the homework for May 8th in the 10th section.

>> I made a mistake with the homework section and accidentally wrote the homework for May 8th in the 10th section.
Write down the homework for the 10th in the column of May 8th I'm really sorry.

>> Write down the homework for the 10th in the column designated for May 8th. I'm really sorry.

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