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영작교정 게시판

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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-05-10 347

회원님의 영작문

Hello, T.Donna.
I had a special day, because of several events.
First, I've done sending the salaries of all staff this morning.
This is the most difficult work of the month, at least for me.
Second, my friend who works in another clinic came over us.
We enjoyed sumptious lunch together; grilled beef, tofu soup, and rice.
He shared many news around him.
And the last, there was a special visitor in the afternoon.
He was a vice president of the famous company "Pierre Fabre".
The company is located in France, and we've bought many boxes of medical device creams from it.
Thus, he visited us to ask about many things of their product.
He could speak English well, so we talked each other for more than 30 minutes.
I was so glad to have the chance to use English.
There were also other people who are related to that company.
One of them came to us to help the English conversation, but we didn't need him at all.
After the meeting, I said "merci, au revoir".
It was a joyful day.
See you tomorrow.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

You had one extraordinary day in May yesterday! All these times that you practiced speaking in English was put into test as you welcome your visitor and just talked about your business. In one way or another, you have helped them to improve their  medical device creams by informing them about its side effects. It might have a side effect on Asian skin, I guess. The most remarkable of it all was you ability to speak French! I am so impresed by the clarity of your pronunciation. Languages is truly one of your best gifts. You need to practice speaking all the languages you know so that you will never forget them. I am very proud of your language prowess!

You must be exhaustedly happy yesterday. I hope that you will have more chances to speak English in a light and professional ways.

Your essay contains interesting details of your day written in a very systematic and grammatically correc sequence. Way to go!

I will see you in class.

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

I had a special day, because of several events.
>> Correct!

First, I've done sending the salaries of all staff this morning.
>> Correct!

This is the most difficult work of the month, at least for me.
>> Correct!

Second, my friend who works in another clinic came over us.
>> Second, my friend who works in another clinic came over to us.

We enjoyed sumptious lunch together; grilled beef, tofu soup, and rice.
>> Correct!

He shared many news around him.
>> Correct!

And the last, there was a special visitor in the afternoon.
>> Correct!
Or: Lastly, there was a special visitor in the afternoon.

He was a vice president of the famous company "Pierre Fabre".
>> He was the vice president of the famous company "Pierre Fabre".

The company is located in France, and we've bought many boxes of medical device creams from it.
>> Correct!

Thus, he visited us to ask about many things of their product.
>> Thus, he visited us to ask about many things about their product.

He could speak English well, so we talked each other for more than 30 minutes.
>> He could speak English well, so we talked to each other for more than 30 minutes.

I was so glad to have the chance to use English.
>> Correct!

There were also other people who are related to that company.
>> Correct!

One of them came to us to help the English conversation, but we didn't need him at all.
>> One of them came to us to help in the English conversation, but we didn't need him at all.

After the meeting, I said "merci, au revoir".
>> Correct!

It was a joyful day.
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!

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