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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

homework 05.09

작성자: 최*�
2023-05-09 708

회원님의 영작문

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What hobbies are popular with children, but not with adults?


Although it's popularity have decreased these days, It's hobby that is consistently popular with children.
The hobby is making slime.
Slime is a sticky, moist liquid, fluffy like jelly toy.
When I was young I used to play this toy, but now it's become more popular.
In addition, there is a slime cafe.
Maybe, I think it's the influence of various social media.
Children like to make and touch things using hand.
So slime with various touches is popular.
But, It's not popular with adults.
When I play this toy, other people think is as childish or ridiculous to play with toys.
That's okay, I don't care because I very sometimes remember or buy toys that I played with when I was young.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What hobbies are popular with children, but not with adults?


Although it's popularity have decreased these days, It's hobby that is consistently popular with children.
>> Although it's popularity has decreased these days, this is a hobby that is consistently popular with children.
The hobby is making slime.
>> CORRECT! 
Slime is a sticky, moist liquid, fluffy like jelly toy.
>> CORRECT! 
When I was young I used to play this toy, but now it's become more popular.
>> When I was young I used to play this toy, but now it has become more popular.
In addition, there is a slime cafe.
>> CORRECT! 
Maybe, I think it's the influence of various social media.
>> Maybe, I think it's the influence of various social media platforms.
Children like to make and touch things using hand.
>> Children like to make and touch things using their hands.
So slime with various touches is popular.
>> CORRECT! 
But, It's not popular with adults.
>> But, it's not popular with adults.
When I play this toy, other people think is as childish or ridiculous to play with toys.
>> When I play this toy, other people think of it as childish or ridiculous to play with toys.
That's okay, I don't care because I very sometimes remember or buy toys that I played with when I was young.
>> That's okay, I don't care because I sometimes remember or buy toys that I played when I was young.
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01
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02
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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04

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