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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-05-07 757

회원님의 영작문

Hello. T.Donna.
May is the family month in Korea.
There are Children's day and Parents day on May.
To celebrate these special days, we have a family gathering yesterday.
My parents and my brother's family came to my new house.
They also took around our new clinic.
They gave me some money to celebrate our new beginnings.
We ate some delicious chinese foods last evening, of course I drank wiskey, so now I have a hangover.
My brother looked so slim, because he succeeded his diet to prevent a progress of diabetes.
Last night, I received two calls from my college friends.
They are suffering from the bad relationship with their wives.
One of them ended up deciding to get divorce.
They have a same situation; their wives always focus on kid's education and have a lot of stress of it, and consequently, they are always depressed.
I hope their relationships get restored.
As for my assignment, there is no problem about our communication of my family, if there is no anger.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Dr. Kim!

Happy Parent's Day to you and your wife once again. Without the gift pf being a father or a mother, this would never be possible. Even if you need to work today, your efforts are not in vain because you have your children who motivate you to do well in your profession. In general, families are important to society because they are the foundation of a civilization, social relationships, and the values of a population. Family is a bond that lasts forever. Cheers to your big happy family! Spending time with them is priceless.

I guess your brother's case is one of the reasons why you are regulating your blood sugar count all the time. There is no doubt that maintaining the right body weight makes us healthier and more fit. Then, making a habit to be physically active and keeping a regular diet is a must. However, in celebrations when food is involved, this can be tough to achieve.

We can oly hope for the best for your friends in their decisions for divorce. Support them in whichever makes then happier in life. 

Anger is best avoided when we have open ears, eyes, mind, and heart to accept that our family members including us are not perfect human beings. 

Thank you for accomplishing your homework. You expressed how adorable your family is in a direct and grammatically correct manner. Keep writing!

See you son. 

-T. Donna~

Hello. T.Donna.
>> Correct!

May is the family month in Korea.
>> Correct!
Or: May is the Family Month in Korea.

There are Children's day and Parents day on May.
>> There are Children's Day and Parent's Day in May.

To celebrate these special days, we have a family gathering yesterday.
>> To celebrate these special days, we had a family gathering yesterday.

My parents and my brother's family came to my new house.
>> Correct!

They also took around our new clinic.
>> They also looked around our new clinic.

They gave me some money to celebrate our new beginnings.
>> Correct!

We ate some delicious chinese foods last evening, of course I drank wiskey, so now I have a hangover.
>> Correct!
Or:  We ate some delicious Chinese foods last evening, of course I drank wiskey, so now I have a hangover. Very good sentence!
 
My brother looked so slim, because he succeeded his diet to prevent a progress of diabetes.
>> My brother looked so slim, because he succeeded his diet to prevent the progress of diabetes.

Last night, I received two calls from my college friends.
>> Correct!

They are suffering from the bad relationship with their wives.
>> Correct!
Or: They are suffering from bad relationships with their wives.

One of them ended up deciding to get divorce.
>> Correct!

They have a same situation; their wives always focus on kid's education and have a lot of stress of it, and consequently, they are always depressed.
>> They have the same situation; their wives always focus on kid's education and have a lot of stress from it, and consequently, they are always depressed.

I hope their relationships get restored.
>> Correct!

As for my assignment, there is no problem about our communication of my family, if there is no anger.
>> As for my assignment, there is no problem about my communication with my family if there is no anger.

See you.
>> Correct!
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