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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-05-03 741

회원님의 영작문

Good evening.
I came home just before.
After the close of our clinic, we had a meeting with the CEO who has a new technological device for nail disorder.
It was very simple, as we expected, however it seemed to be useful.
We decided to introduce this new device next week, so we are going to be busier soon.
During lunch time, I educated our staff about treatments which can be guarranted from the private insurance companies.
It is bothersome, but also helpful for our profit, so we will strenthen those treatements.
Furthermore, I taught a new staff who will be a counselling manager this afternoon as I worked.
She was so active, so I expected her to learn about our clinic fast.
I will teach her again tomorrow.
As the salary day is coming, I am busy organizing and calculating.
Meanwhile, my last daughter has a fever, so I am so worried about it.
We are looking for a doctor who can follow our clinic's rule.
He or she doesn't need to work hard, just need to be diligent.
See you tomorrow.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

I came across your composition last night when I went to bed and cannot catch my sleep quickly. It can be hard to sleep during summer time.Well, your new nail device is very interesting. Thanks to your intensive and very convincing explanation about it in class. Now, nail fungi will be cured and look like most ordinary nails.

Training your staff had been your constant job. Training has a direct impact on your organization's productivity and performance. As mentioned earlier, training gives employees a better understanding of their responsibilities and the knowledge and skills they need to do that job. This will improve their confidence which can positively impact performance. Most af all, if they will stay long enough to serve you, that would be a great thing. Finding another doctoras well will be an advantage to your efficiency. So, keep looking for one.

Finally, I hope that your last baby will be okay today. Regarding your composition, there are some suggestions about word order, diction, and subject-verb agreement. Please do not fail to read them all below.

See you again next week!

-T. Donna~

Good evening.
>> Correct!

I came home just before.
>> I came home just a few mintes ago.
>> I just came back home.

After the close of our clinic, we had a meeting with the CEO who has a new technological device for nail disorder.
>> After the closing of our clinic, we had a meeting with the CEO who has a new technological device for nail disorders.

It was very simple, as we expected, however it seemed to be useful.
>> Correct!

We decided to introduce this new device next week, so we are going to be busier soon.
>> Correct!

During lunch time, I educated our staff about treatments which can be guarranted from the private insurance companies.
>> Correct!

It is bothersome, but also helpful for our profit, so we will strenthen those treatements.
>> Correct!

Furthermore, I taught a new staff who will be a counselling manager this afternoon as I worked.
>> Correct!

She was so active, so I expected her to learn about our clinic fast.
>> Correct!

I will teach her again tomorrow.
>> Correct!

As the salary day is coming, I am busy organizing and calculating.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, my last daughter has a fever, so I am so worried about it.
>> Correct!

We are looking for a doctor who can follow our clinic's rule.
>> Correct!
Or: rules

He or she doesn't need to work hard, just need to be diligent.
>> He or she doesn't need to work hard, he just needs to be diligent.

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
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