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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-05-03 346

회원님의 영작문

Hello, T.Donna.
I had a hectic day.
I had a lot of work to do and there were so many happenings at the clinic.
Above all, there were many patients and paperwork.
Because today is first day of a new month, I had to complete many paperwork about previous month; profit and expense calculation, staff worktime check, submission of patients data, and so on...
Also, there were two new staff.
I signed up the contract directly with one of them, because she was expected to be a counselling manager.
Regarding most contracts about staff, our old manager signs up instead of me, besides of the important staff.
And, there was one more happening about old doctor.
I ended up hating most old doctors.
After the close of the clinic, I had to do many paperworks.
That's why I am writing now.
As you told me, I seemed to be affected from my friends who don't have a good relationship with their wives.
I was upset with a small mistake of my wife tonight.
I should think of good aspect of my wife always.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Dr. Kim!

Hectic and preoccupied days are very good for businesses. It helps you to be more organized and systematic, plus, it makes Dr. MJ calm and peaceful. I am certain that today is going to be similar as yesterday. Patients, clients, paperworks will overwhelm you. Nevertheless, you will overcome and survive another day. I wish you strength and gumption then.

Congratulations to the contracts of your two new staff!  I never heard any story of staff leaving nowadays and this indicates the strength and effectiveness in leadership from your part. Encourage and motivate your staff to maintain harmonious relations aswell as quality service to your patients always.

Meanwhile, old doctors may have some pride and self- confidence like the one you interviewed lately. Of course, they also want to highlight their best skillset in applying to your clinic. Then, I guess, youhave to ask them more technical questions about procedures they performed or, if they know to use the latest technology that you have to test their skills.

Finally, truly, there are more good things that you need to see in yourwife more than one mistake in a day. Furtheremore, ask too if you have contributed well in your relationship and if you are doing your best to be a batter persn ti your partner. Remember that marriage is forever and that is the promise you made. Stay true to it.

Your attempt to make long sentences is successful. Create more varieties of your sentences and see the difference. Overall, you did an excellent execution of narration and execution on your composition!

See you soon!

-T. Donna~ 

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

I had a hectic day.
>> Correct!

I had a lot of work to do and there were so many happenings at the clinic.
>> Correct!

Above all, there were many patients and paperwork.
>> Correct!

Because today is first day of a new month, I had to complete many paperwork about previous month; profit and expense calculation, staff worktime check, submission of patients data, and so on...
>> Because today is the first day of a new month, I had to complete many paperworks about the previous month; profit and expense calculation, staff worktime check, submission of patients data, and so on...

Also, there were two new staff.
>> Correct!

I signed up the contract directly with one of them, because she was expected to be a counselling manager.
>> Correct!

Regarding most contracts about staff, our old manager signs up instead of me, besides of the important staff.
>> Regarding most contracts about staff, our old manager signs up instead of me, besides important staff.

And, there was one more happening about old doctor.
>> And, there was one more happening about an old doctor.

I ended up hating most old doctors.
>> Correct!

After the close of the clinic, I had to do many paperworks.
>> Correct!

That's why I am writing now.
>> Correct!

As you told me, I seemed to be affected from my friends who don't have a good relationship with their wives.
>> As you told me, I seemed to be affected by my friends who don't have a good relationship with their wives.

I was upset with a small mistake of my wife tonight.
>> Correct!

I should think of good aspect of my wife always.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
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