무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What do you think is the common cause of obesity?

작성자: 조*인
2023-05-02 1180

회원님의 영작문

I think psychological problems are the most common cause of obesity.
The stress from loneliness, lack, pressure release anti-stress hormones. That kinds of hormones cause overeating. A few times of overeating makes people more stressful, which in turns creates a cycle that leads to overeating. For example, just before my period, I can not stop to eat food which are salty, hot and sweet even I don't like sweet tasty normally. After I eat all of I want to eat, I felt guilty and get a lot of stress. Those stress make me become lethargic. So, I don't go out of my bed. I do just lie down on my bed and kill the time.

Also, unnecessary intake is another reason. Adult body doesn't need much as young children they don't spend energy to grow up. And people's activity decreases with age. However, many people eat the same amount of food as they did in their teens and twenties.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for your homework, Jessica!

Practice is always the key!

-Hanna ^^

I think psychological problems are the most common cause of obesity.

>>Correct
The stress from loneliness, lack, pressure release anti-stress hormones. 

>>The stress from loneliness, lack and pressure releases anti-stress hormones.

That kinds of hormones cause overeating. 

>>Those kinds of hormones cause overreacting.

A few times of overeating makes people more stressful, which in turns creates a cycle that leads to overeating.

>>A few times of overreacting makes people more stressful which creates a cycle that leads to overreacting.

 For example, just before my period, I can not stop to eat food which are salty, hot and sweet even I don't like sweet tasty normally. 

>>For example, just before my period, I can't stop eating food which are salty, hot and sweet even if I don't normally like sweet food.

After I eat all of I want to eat, I felt guilty and get a lot of stress.

>>After eating all the food that I want to eat, I felt guilty and I was stressed.

Those stress make me become lethargic. 

>>Correct

So, I don't go out of my bed. 

>>So, I don't get up from my bed.

I do just lie down on my bed and kill the time.

>>I just lie down on my bed and kill the time.

Also, unnecessary intake is another reason. 

>>Correct.

Adult body doesn't need much as young children they don't spend energy to grow up. 

>>Adult body doesn't need as much as young children's body to have more energy growing up.

And people's activity decreases with age. 

>>Correct.

However, many people eat the same amount of food as they did in their teens and twenties.

>>Correct
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
124831 What birthday traditions are unique to your culture? 태*서 완료 2023-01-12 528
124830 What are the challenges of going abroad? 임*윤 완료 2023-01-12 744
124829 My musical tates 김*윤 완료 2023-01-12 403
124828 The reason why both men and women spend much money on beauty... 김*서 완료 2023-01-12 1616
124827 homework 박*민 완료 2023-01-12 3
124826 homework 이*우 완료 2023-01-12 609
124825 What is your favorite childhood memory? 신*섭 완료 2023-01-12 727
124824 homework 박*은 완료 2023-01-12 1
124823 Do you worry about your old age? 선* 완료 2023-01-12 638
124822 영작 숙제 이*우 완료 2023-01-12 0
124821 Thursday homework 류*우 완료 2023-01-12 583
124820 Future 김*순 완료 2023-01-12 1
124819 How do you feel about South Korea becoming a super-aged society... 황*하 완료 2023-01-12 551
124818 ESSAY: Nowadays both men and women spend much money on beauty... 홍*기 완료 2023-01-12 522
124817 My homework 전*선 완료 2023-01-12 929
124816 What is your all-time favorite movie? 이*태 완료 2023-01-12 518
124815 Why do people greet each other? 김*슬 완료 2023-01-12 483
124814 Will computers become smarter than humans one day? Is this a bad... 이*태 완료 2023-01-12 509
124813 What is the right age to introduce gadgets to children? Why? 이*태 완료 2023-01-12 408
124812 123 박*우 완료 2023-01-12 618

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]