¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the common cause of obesity?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ÀÎ
2023-05-02 322

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think psychological problems are the most common cause of obesity.
The stress from loneliness, lack, pressure release anti-stress hormones. That kinds of hormones cause overeating. A few times of overeating makes people more stressful, which in turns creates a cycle that leads to overeating. For example, just before my period, I can not stop to eat food which are salty, hot and sweet even I don't like sweet tasty normally. After I eat all of I want to eat, I felt guilty and get a lot of stress. Those stress make me become lethargic. So, I don't go out of my bed. I do just lie down on my bed and kill the time.

Also, unnecessary intake is another reason. Adult body doesn't need much as young children they don't spend energy to grow up. And people's activity decreases with age. However, many people eat the same amount of food as they did in their teens and twenties.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for your homework, Jessica!

Practice is always the key!

-Hanna ^^

I think psychological problems are the most common cause of obesity.

>>Correct
The stress from loneliness, lack, pressure release anti-stress hormones. 

>>The stress from loneliness, lack and pressure releases anti-stress hormones.

That kinds of hormones cause overeating. 

>>Those kinds of hormones cause overreacting.

A few times of overeating makes people more stressful, which in turns creates a cycle that leads to overeating.

>>A few times of overreacting makes people more stressful which creates a cycle that leads to overreacting.

 For example, just before my period, I can not stop to eat food which are salty, hot and sweet even I don't like sweet tasty normally. 

>>For example, just before my period, I can't stop eating food which are salty, hot and sweet even if I don't normally like sweet food.

After I eat all of I want to eat, I felt guilty and get a lot of stress.

>>After eating all the food that I want to eat, I felt guilty and I was stressed.

Those stress make me become lethargic. 

>>Correct

So, I don't go out of my bed. 

>>So, I don't get up from my bed.

I do just lie down on my bed and kill the time.

>>I just lie down on my bed and kill the time.

Also, unnecessary intake is another reason. 

>>Correct.

Adult body doesn't need much as young children they don't spend energy to grow up. 

>>Adult body doesn't need as much as young children's body to have more energy growing up.

And people's activity decreases with age. 

>>Correct.

However, many people eat the same amount of food as they did in their teens and twenties.

>>Correct

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128667 Homework 6/5 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1
128666 Should there be a restriction on the sales and production of... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1
128665 Homework 6/2 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1
128664 What I¡¯m most afraid of ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 300
128663 I don\'t help people. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 351
128662 What do you think of dating apps? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 5
128661 May I change my book ? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 391
128660 What fruit do you dislike the most and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 645
128659 Do you have a lot of friends? What do you do together? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1
128658 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1
128657 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 303
128656 What are the things that you don\'t like about dancing? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 232
128655 Congratulation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 1
128654 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 0
128653 Breakfast is important Le* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 3
128652 Answer : What do you think are the benefits of marriage? Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 281
128651 The most important thing from school ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 359
128650 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 691
128649 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 170
128648 Keeping in touch with people is necessary to maintain a good... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-05 473

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04