¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-04-27 286

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi.
It's almost midnight.
As you know, Dr. MJ and I ate Sam-gyup-sal for dinner.
As we ate the food, I asked Dr.MJ whether he is happy or not.
He told me that he is the most happy now than ever.
Since I told him about the argument between my wife and me, he explained me about his divorce in details.
After his mother passed away around three years ago, he thought of his and wife's lives well.
They had different hobby, life style, and even food preference.
Also, they always wanted different thing, and they had no empathy.
For their own happiness, they decided to divorce two years ago.
One interesting thing is that they live in same house until now.
Anyway, they never touch other's life, and they are happy.
After dinner, I called one of my friend who is also doctor on my way home.
He is going through a hard time, because of dissapointment to his wife.
He told me that his wife has been changed.
One clear thing is that our own happiness is as important as our families.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Dr. Kim!

You stayed up late last night to write this homework. Thank you. As you have hearty meals with Dr. MJ, the best strategy or a simple way for him to open up seems like sharing your own story first to calm him and open up about his. I find this very therapeutic since you are the first person in his 'care' list. I am sure that you play a big role in his happiness as you are partners in building your business. 

In reality, we want simple things in life. However, the simple things are the hardest to achieve. We sometimes do little things that can make our family unhappy. Despite all the problems, if we want to stay in a relationship, we must be willing to be a better person and conquer our pride most of the time. Of course, these things are better said than done. It sounds simple but very difficult tp apply. We cannot judge people who get divorce and compare them with our families since every family is unique. We will never truly understand their situation, in fact. We just have to listen and pick a lesson or two, hoping that things will be better in our own marriage or life status.

For many, their family is their happiness. But, what if the source of your stress is your family?  Then, your other doctor friends may start looking outside the circle of their family- material things, other relationships, among others. At the end of the day, we are all human beings who just want to be cared for and loved. No amount of material things compare to genuine and strong relationships we built overtime. 

I am grateful to understand your observations and analysis in your daily life through your writing. You present your story with much clarity, empathy, and style. You mastered a very manageable structure of the beginning, body, and conclusion. With these, execellent expositions this week. Keep writing!

Have a happy weekend!

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

It's almost midnight.
>> Correct!

As you know, Dr. MJ and I ate Sam-gyup-sal for dinner.
>> Correct!

As we ate the food, I asked Dr.MJ whether he is happy or not.
>> Correct!

He told me that he is the most happy now than ever.
>> Correct!

Since I told him about the argument between my wife and me, he explained me about his divorce in details.
>> Correct!

After his mother passed away around three years ago, he thought of his and wife's lives well.
>> Correct!

They had different hobby, life style, and even food preference.
>> Correct!

Also, they always wanted different thing, and they had no empathy.
>> Also, they always wanted different things, and they had no empathy.

For their own happiness, they decided to divorce two years ago.
>> Correct!

One interesting thing is that they live in same house until now.
>> One interesting thing is that they live in the same house until now.

Anyway, they never touch other's life, and they are happy.
>> Anyway, they never touch each other's life, and they are happy.

After dinner, I called one of my friend who is also doctor on my way home.
>> After dinner, I called one of my friends who is also doctor on my way home.

He is going through a hard time, because of dissapointment to his wife.
>> Correct!

He told me that his wife has been changed.
>> He told me that his wife has changed.

One clear thing is that our own happiness is as important as our families.
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126251 it\'s classic and jazz!!!! À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 206
126250 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 133
126249 What is the standard of living like in your country? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 197
126248 What are the negative aspects of crowded cities? ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 4
126247 Homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 156
126246 Describe your favorite vegetable. Why is it your favorite? ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 3
126245 Is bullying rampant in schools in your country? Can bullying be... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 152
126244 stress is all around me ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 2
126243 3/6 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 932
126242 Text ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 1
126241 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 1
126240 What was the most painful procedure you went through at a dental... ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 2
126239 What factors influence a career choice ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 3
126238 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 1
126237 Describe an important gift you have, tell us why it is important. ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 210
126236 My first English diary ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 162
126235 Talk about travel ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 1
126234 1. smart 2. rich ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-06 0
126233 How should the younger generation of workers have a better... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-03-05 2
126232 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-03-05 180

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04