¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-04-27 214

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi.
It's almost midnight.
As you know, Dr. MJ and I ate Sam-gyup-sal for dinner.
As we ate the food, I asked Dr.MJ whether he is happy or not.
He told me that he is the most happy now than ever.
Since I told him about the argument between my wife and me, he explained me about his divorce in details.
After his mother passed away around three years ago, he thought of his and wife's lives well.
They had different hobby, life style, and even food preference.
Also, they always wanted different thing, and they had no empathy.
For their own happiness, they decided to divorce two years ago.
One interesting thing is that they live in same house until now.
Anyway, they never touch other's life, and they are happy.
After dinner, I called one of my friend who is also doctor on my way home.
He is going through a hard time, because of dissapointment to his wife.
He told me that his wife has been changed.
One clear thing is that our own happiness is as important as our families.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Dr. Kim!

You stayed up late last night to write this homework. Thank you. As you have hearty meals with Dr. MJ, the best strategy or a simple way for him to open up seems like sharing your own story first to calm him and open up about his. I find this very therapeutic since you are the first person in his 'care' list. I am sure that you play a big role in his happiness as you are partners in building your business. 

In reality, we want simple things in life. However, the simple things are the hardest to achieve. We sometimes do little things that can make our family unhappy. Despite all the problems, if we want to stay in a relationship, we must be willing to be a better person and conquer our pride most of the time. Of course, these things are better said than done. It sounds simple but very difficult tp apply. We cannot judge people who get divorce and compare them with our families since every family is unique. We will never truly understand their situation, in fact. We just have to listen and pick a lesson or two, hoping that things will be better in our own marriage or life status.

For many, their family is their happiness. But, what if the source of your stress is your family?  Then, your other doctor friends may start looking outside the circle of their family- material things, other relationships, among others. At the end of the day, we are all human beings who just want to be cared for and loved. No amount of material things compare to genuine and strong relationships we built overtime. 

I am grateful to understand your observations and analysis in your daily life through your writing. You present your story with much clarity, empathy, and style. You mastered a very manageable structure of the beginning, body, and conclusion. With these, execellent expositions this week. Keep writing!

Have a happy weekend!

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

It's almost midnight.
>> Correct!

As you know, Dr. MJ and I ate Sam-gyup-sal for dinner.
>> Correct!

As we ate the food, I asked Dr.MJ whether he is happy or not.
>> Correct!

He told me that he is the most happy now than ever.
>> Correct!

Since I told him about the argument between my wife and me, he explained me about his divorce in details.
>> Correct!

After his mother passed away around three years ago, he thought of his and wife's lives well.
>> Correct!

They had different hobby, life style, and even food preference.
>> Correct!

Also, they always wanted different thing, and they had no empathy.
>> Also, they always wanted different things, and they had no empathy.

For their own happiness, they decided to divorce two years ago.
>> Correct!

One interesting thing is that they live in same house until now.
>> One interesting thing is that they live in the same house until now.

Anyway, they never touch other's life, and they are happy.
>> Anyway, they never touch each other's life, and they are happy.

After dinner, I called one of my friend who is also doctor on my way home.
>> After dinner, I called one of my friends who is also doctor on my way home.

He is going through a hard time, because of dissapointment to his wife.
>> Correct!

He told me that his wife has been changed.
>> He told me that his wife has changed.

One clear thing is that our own happiness is as important as our families.
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126922 hoesik ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 102
126921 The embarrassing moment ¹é*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 2
126920 Golf ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 3
126919 1. South Korea 2. country ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 0
126918 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 458
126917 Thomas Carlyle ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-27 1214
126916 3/22 Assignment ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 288
126915 3/24 assignment ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 424
126914 Where I¡¯d like to live ? Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 1
126913 HOMEWORK FOR 03/24 Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 105
126912 Do you ever think taking naps can waste valuable time spent... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 97
126911 How does the article make you feel about AI? ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 212
126910 Do you think air pollution will be a bigger issue ten years from... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 94
126909 Do you think we should continue these rocket launches at the... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 166
126908 What are your birthday wishes for Aria? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 43
126907 How frequent do you receive advertising attachments in your... ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 1
126906 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 648
126905 My busit day is Tuesday. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 2
126904 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 60
126903 What do you think is the worst dental problem? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-26 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04