¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think it¡¯s possible that one day, many people will live on Mars? If yes or no, please explain

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2023-04-26 271

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

"There is no limit to the power of the human mind. The more concentrated it is, the more power is brought to bear on one point" (Swami Vivekananda). Humans have succeeded in a lot of things that would not be able to succeed: there's only one thing that humans never do, step on god's toes. In other words, except that humans have done a lot of things. So then, I believe people will live on Mars at some point. Also, our earth has died for hundreds of years because of global warming, endless man-made development, too much inefficient technology, etc. Even though this situation is caused by humans and we should be responsible to make this happen, we must figure out another solution for keeping our generation, which may be that solution, living on Mars. Thus, overall my thoughts and belief are life on Mars will be possible at some point, whether it takes more than hundreds of years or millions of years.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for writing this good essay, Su A! I remembered what you told me in one of our classes before, and I feel like this is one of those essays where you wish you could add more input if it wasn't for the alphabet limit.  You were able to persuade the readers by reminding them of the slow but steady decline of the Earth, and how the blame is mainly on mankind. This drives the notion that perhaps it is not as okay to live here someday than we thought. Great work! 
~T.Harmony <3

"There is no limit to the power of the human mind. The more concentrated it is, the more power is brought to bear on one point" (Swami Vivekananda). 
>> CORRECT! 
Humans have succeeded in a lot of things that would not be able to succeed: there's only one thing that humans never do, step on god's toes.
>> ...that they would have been able to succeed in. There's only one that that humans never do: step on God's toes. (We usually capitalize the first letter in "God", but it depends on one's beliefs. ^^)
In other words, except that humans have done a lot of things. 
>> CORRECT! 
So then, I believe people will live on Mars at some point. 
>> CORRECT! 
OR>> With that being said,...
Also, our earth has died for hundreds of years because of global warming, endless man-made development, too much inefficient technology, etc. 
>> CORRECT! 
Even though this situation is caused by humans and we should be responsible to make this happen, we must figure out another solution for keeping our generation, which may be that solution, living on Mars. 
>> ...another solution to preserve our generation...
Thus, overall my thoughts and belief are life on Mars will be possible at some point, whether it takes more than hundreds of years or millions of years. 
>> CORRECT! 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127207 If I drink too much coffe.. Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1
127206 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 2
127205 What is your favorite restaurant and why? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1
127204 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1
127203 How do you make time with your family when you have a pretty... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 185
127202 4/5 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 408
127201 Drama ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 2
127200 What makes me be mad ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 192
127199 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 99
127198 Favorite summer memories ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 234
127197 Topics that I\'m interested about Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 1
127196 What are the advantages and disadvantages of talking in person? ±è*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 108
127195 What do you think are the effects of school bullying/violence? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-04-05 2
127194 Bullying and violence in school is outright criminal. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 3
127193 4.Apr.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 1
127192 3.Apr.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 3
127191 Homework ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 282
127190 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 1
127189 Home work Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 102
127188 The questions ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-04 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04