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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you like family gatherings? Why or why not?

작성자: 조*인
2023-04-26 361

회원님의 영작문

Yes I like family gatherings.

First of all, family gatherings give me positive energy.
My family is humorous and affectionate. Spending time and playing with those kinds of people makes me habbpy and fills me with love. Few months ago, I had a hard time in my job. There were too much work that I had to do and the customer is difficult to treat. I was under a lot of stress. I tallked to my family about it and they came to my neighborhood, bringing delicious food and offering warm words of support. they listened to my stories and gave me some advice. it was very encouraging for me.


Also, acoding to there are few chance to gatherings, family get-togethers have become more precious.
Not only that I am physically far from my parents and my younger brother since I got married, but also, there isn't much time to meet because everyone busy.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for your homework, Jessica!

You are doing great!

-Hanna ^^

Yes I like family gatherings.

>>Correct.
First of all, family gatherings give me positive energy.

>>Correct.
My family is humorous and affectionate. 

>>Correct

Spending time and playing with those kinds of people makes me habbpy and fills me with love. 

>>Spending time and playing with those kind of people makes me happy and fills me with love.

Few months ago, I had a hard time in my job. 

>>Few months ago, I had a hard time with my job.

There were too much work that I had to do and the customer is difficult to treat.

>>There were too much work that I had to do and the customer was difficult to treat.

 I was under a lot of stress. 

>>Correct.

I tallked to my family about it and they came to my neighborhood, bringing delicious food and offering warm words of support. 

>>I talked to my family about it and they came to my neighborhood, bringing delicious food and offering warm words of support.

they listened to my stories and gave me some advice. 

>>They listened to my stories and gave me some advice.

it was very encouraging for me.

>>It was very encouraging for me.

Also, acoding to there are few chance to gatherings, family get-togethers have become more precious.

>>Also, because there are few chances of gatherings nowadays, family get-togethers have become more precious
Not only that I am physically far from my parents and my younger brother since I got married, but also, there isn't much time to meet because everyone busy.

>>Not only that I am physically far from my parents and my younger brother since I got married, but also, there isn't much time for us to meet because everyone is busy.
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첨삭이 가능하며,

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