¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-04-24 562

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Oh my!
My assignment file was deleted by mistake just before.
I should've saved the file.
However, it is okay, because writing always makes me happy.
There was nothing special happening in the clinic.
There are still some time left before the closing, though.
Meanwhile, there's some good news.
Dr MJ and I decided to take a rest once a week starting this June.
You probably know how much I wanted to take a rest.
And, My car needs to be washed, both inside and outside.
Thus I found out the store, which can be done, and then completed the booking tomorrow.
These days, my blood sugar level was somewhat high, so I'm worrying about it.
You know that I like to drink whiskey with some delicious foods every night.
However, I have to avoid it at least a few days for my health.
When I was young, I never had enough money, so I wanted to make more money.
In spite of the large amount of debt, now I can purchase gadgets and delicous foods, and I am fully satisfied with this.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

Sometimes, things happen when we least expect them. It is a great joy to learn that you love writing after all. Doing it all over again is a piece of cake for you.
Taking breaks has been vital in recovering from stress which can, in turn, improve your performance. Recovering from work stress can restore energy and mental resources and decrease the development of fatigue, sleep disorders and cardiovascular diseases. As a doctor, you already know these. Your decision to take a break once a week is the best you can do for yourselves. Now, you can get a very good car wash, have time with your wife, your kids, and for yourself.  

Dreams are for free and it is up to our mindset if we achieve them. They push us to our limits because dreams demand hard work and commitment. Your dream to enjoy good meals every time can come true, with a catch- your blood sugar level. Eat, drink, be merry and do these moderately.

The grammar suggestions are just on simple punctuation marks, diction, and pronouns. Read them carefully below. Thank you for rewriting your composition after a technical glitch.

See you in class tomorrow.

-T. Donna~

Oh my!
>> Correct!

My assignment file was deleted by mistake just before.
>> My assignment file was deleted by mistake just before submission.

I should've saved the file.
>> Correct!

However, it is okay, because writing always makes me happy.
>> Correct!

There was nothing special happening in the clinic.
>> Correct!

There are still some time left before the closing, though.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, there's some good news.
>> Correct!

Dr MJ and I decided to take a rest once a week starting this June.
>> Correct!
Or: Dr. MJ

You probably know how much I wanted to take a rest.
>> Correct!

And, My car needs to be washed, both inside and outside.
>> Correct!
Or: And, my car...

Thus I found out the store, which can be done, and then completed the booking tomorrow.
>> Thus I found out the shop, which it can be done, and then completed the booking tomorrow.

These days, my blood sugar level was somewhat high, so I'm worrying about it.
>> Correct!

You know that I like to drink whiskey with some delicious foods every night.
>> Correct!

However, I have to avoid it at least a few days for my health.
>> Correct!

When I was young, I never had enough money, so I wanted to make more money.
>> Correct!

In spite of the large amount of debt, now I can purchase gadgets and delicous foods, and I am fully satisfied with this.
>> Correct!
Or: delicious

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129526 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1
129525 Homework 7/14 JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2804
129524 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2211
129523 7.11.Tue Ȳ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2963
129522 Day3 ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 0
129521 7/14 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 19
129520 Homework È«*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2
129519 What do you think about eating disorders such as Anorexia and... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2610
129518 What quality do you admire most in people and which one do you... ¾È*½Ò ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2535
129517 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2
129516 homework 07.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2288
129515 What pet do you have at home? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 3353
129514 Home work ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 0
129513 What makes you feel happy? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 0
129512 Where is the best place to rest in your house? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2229
129511 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 1826
129510 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 3130
129509 Sports ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 1
129508 2023.7.13 homework ±è*»è ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 3972
129507 WRITING TASK: What are your ways to study more effectively? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04