¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-04-24 666

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Oh my!
My assignment file was deleted by mistake just before.
I should've saved the file.
However, it is okay, because writing always makes me happy.
There was nothing special happening in the clinic.
There are still some time left before the closing, though.
Meanwhile, there's some good news.
Dr MJ and I decided to take a rest once a week starting this June.
You probably know how much I wanted to take a rest.
And, My car needs to be washed, both inside and outside.
Thus I found out the store, which can be done, and then completed the booking tomorrow.
These days, my blood sugar level was somewhat high, so I'm worrying about it.
You know that I like to drink whiskey with some delicious foods every night.
However, I have to avoid it at least a few days for my health.
When I was young, I never had enough money, so I wanted to make more money.
In spite of the large amount of debt, now I can purchase gadgets and delicous foods, and I am fully satisfied with this.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

Sometimes, things happen when we least expect them. It is a great joy to learn that you love writing after all. Doing it all over again is a piece of cake for you.
Taking breaks has been vital in recovering from stress which can, in turn, improve your performance. Recovering from work stress can restore energy and mental resources and decrease the development of fatigue, sleep disorders and cardiovascular diseases. As a doctor, you already know these. Your decision to take a break once a week is the best you can do for yourselves. Now, you can get a very good car wash, have time with your wife, your kids, and for yourself.  

Dreams are for free and it is up to our mindset if we achieve them. They push us to our limits because dreams demand hard work and commitment. Your dream to enjoy good meals every time can come true, with a catch- your blood sugar level. Eat, drink, be merry and do these moderately.

The grammar suggestions are just on simple punctuation marks, diction, and pronouns. Read them carefully below. Thank you for rewriting your composition after a technical glitch.

See you in class tomorrow.

-T. Donna~

Oh my!
>> Correct!

My assignment file was deleted by mistake just before.
>> My assignment file was deleted by mistake just before submission.

I should've saved the file.
>> Correct!

However, it is okay, because writing always makes me happy.
>> Correct!

There was nothing special happening in the clinic.
>> Correct!

There are still some time left before the closing, though.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, there's some good news.
>> Correct!

Dr MJ and I decided to take a rest once a week starting this June.
>> Correct!
Or: Dr. MJ

You probably know how much I wanted to take a rest.
>> Correct!

And, My car needs to be washed, both inside and outside.
>> Correct!
Or: And, my car...

Thus I found out the store, which can be done, and then completed the booking tomorrow.
>> Thus I found out the shop, which it can be done, and then completed the booking tomorrow.

These days, my blood sugar level was somewhat high, so I'm worrying about it.
>> Correct!

You know that I like to drink whiskey with some delicious foods every night.
>> Correct!

However, I have to avoid it at least a few days for my health.
>> Correct!

When I was young, I never had enough money, so I wanted to make more money.
>> Correct!

In spite of the large amount of debt, now I can purchase gadgets and delicous foods, and I am fully satisfied with this.
>> Correct!
Or: delicious

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130661 HOMEWORK-230831 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1
130660 What is the difference between Generation X and Generation Z? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1557
130659 Do you think you have a healthy lifestyle? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1226
130658 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"My most... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1
130657 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 2
130656 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 2103
130655 What are the important things to bring on a trip? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 6
130654 What does stress do to our body? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1656
130653 Do you think punishments should be strict or people should be... º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 4
130652 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 0
130651 What did you like to do when you were a child? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 4
130650 WRITING TASK: When do you treat your friends? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 4
130649 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 698
130648 Do you prefer traveling alone or traveling with family and... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 2
130647 A mobile phone ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 2
130646 How do you feel about not taking a risk at all? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1580
130645 How do you feel about advising your friends? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1203
130644 Do you think bullies still have the chance to change? Why or why... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1480
130643 What are the best ways to keep yourself fit? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1419
130642 Do we have a special responsibility to help others even though... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1787

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04