¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-04-23 818

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, T.Donna.
Time flies so fast.
My precious weekend almost over.
As I expected, I can see the beautiful Park in front of the window. Last Friday, my wife finished the transfer with the company.
Now our house is located on the 24th floor in this apartment building.
It is quite high and my kids said "This house seems like a hotel".
Maybe they are not still used to this place.
There are five rooms here including a living room.
Fortunately, I have my own room, which has a wider window, so I can see the view outside clearly.
You can see this view tomorrow.
A bad thing is that i'll take more time to go to my workplace.
And, I have to take my kids to their elementary school everyday.
But, on the bright side, I can spend more time with my kids.
My wife is busy cleaning the room and arranging many stuff.
TV and water purifier didn't install yet, so we should call the service center tomorrow.
Since we will face the new situation tomorrow morning, we should go to bed early tonight.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello! Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

I could not agree more. Time flies like we slept and opened our eyes and it is a brand new day once more. Well, your house may be less spacious from the previous one but brighter and looks brand new. So, seize each wonderful moment with your family in your all new home! There is no place like home indeed.

Since there are still a few things to fix here and there, I hope that your little girls can give their mother a hand in little things. Your tv and more especially the water purifier are a must to install right away. I hope you can have them ready ASAP. Moving into a new home is such an exciting time! While packing and unpacking may be a drag, there¡¯s nothing like a fresh start in a new space. Feeling comfortable in your new home may take some time, but you should feel fully settled within a few more days after unpacking and decorating. \

Thank you for sharing this experience here on your composition. Majority of your sentences are grammatically correct. Take note of the correct capitalization of words always. Overall, great job!

See you soon!

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Time flies so fast.
>> Correct!

My precious weekend almost over.
>> My precious weekend is almost over.

As I expected, I can see the beautiful Park in front of the window. Last Friday, my wife finished the transfer with the company.
>> Correct!
Or: park 

Now our house is located on the 24th floor in this apartment building.
>> Correct!

It is quite high and my kids said "This house seems like a hotel".
>> Correct!
Or: It is quite high and my kids said, "This house seems like a hotel".

Maybe they are not still used to this place.
>> Correct!

There are five rooms here including a living room.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, I have my own room, which has a wider window, so I can see the view outside clearly.
>> Correct!

You can see this view tomorrow.
>> Correct!

A bad thing is that i'll take more time to go to my workplace.
>> Correct!
Or: A bad thing is that I'll take more time to go to my workplace.

And, I have to take my kids to their elementary school everyday.
>> Correct!

But, on the bright side, I can spend more time with my kids.
>> Correct!

My wife is busy cleaning the room and arranging many stuff.
>> Correct!

TV and water purifier didn't install yet, so we should call the service center tomorrow.
>> The TV and the water purifier aren't installed yet, so we should call the service center tomorrow.

Since we will face the new situation tomorrow morning, we should go to bed early tonight.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131212 HOMEWOrK ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 0
131211 If a group of people just came to your country from overseas,... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1070
131210 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 0
131209 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1052
131208 \'NukeX\' program ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1475
131207 What will be your first reaction if you meet a famous movie star? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1383
131206 Traveling alone ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1820
131205 HOMEWORK-230921 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1
131204 Do you prefer ordering food in person, by phone, or online? Á¤*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1979
131203 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1604
131202 WRITING TASK: What are some reasons why people might not meet... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1
131201 Homework ±è*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1505
131200 sex education ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1782
131199 What food from other countries would you like to try? ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 3
131198 About silent spring. ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1689
131197 Have you ever visited a national park or wildlife sanctuary?... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1754
131196 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1549
131195 What\"s your favorite about your home country? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 2016
131194 Monday Homework ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131193 Homework Àü*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04