¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-04-23 840

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, T.Donna.
Time flies so fast.
My precious weekend almost over.
As I expected, I can see the beautiful Park in front of the window. Last Friday, my wife finished the transfer with the company.
Now our house is located on the 24th floor in this apartment building.
It is quite high and my kids said "This house seems like a hotel".
Maybe they are not still used to this place.
There are five rooms here including a living room.
Fortunately, I have my own room, which has a wider window, so I can see the view outside clearly.
You can see this view tomorrow.
A bad thing is that i'll take more time to go to my workplace.
And, I have to take my kids to their elementary school everyday.
But, on the bright side, I can spend more time with my kids.
My wife is busy cleaning the room and arranging many stuff.
TV and water purifier didn't install yet, so we should call the service center tomorrow.
Since we will face the new situation tomorrow morning, we should go to bed early tonight.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello! Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

I could not agree more. Time flies like we slept and opened our eyes and it is a brand new day once more. Well, your house may be less spacious from the previous one but brighter and looks brand new. So, seize each wonderful moment with your family in your all new home! There is no place like home indeed.

Since there are still a few things to fix here and there, I hope that your little girls can give their mother a hand in little things. Your tv and more especially the water purifier are a must to install right away. I hope you can have them ready ASAP. Moving into a new home is such an exciting time! While packing and unpacking may be a drag, there¡¯s nothing like a fresh start in a new space. Feeling comfortable in your new home may take some time, but you should feel fully settled within a few more days after unpacking and decorating. \

Thank you for sharing this experience here on your composition. Majority of your sentences are grammatically correct. Take note of the correct capitalization of words always. Overall, great job!

See you soon!

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Time flies so fast.
>> Correct!

My precious weekend almost over.
>> My precious weekend is almost over.

As I expected, I can see the beautiful Park in front of the window. Last Friday, my wife finished the transfer with the company.
>> Correct!
Or: park 

Now our house is located on the 24th floor in this apartment building.
>> Correct!

It is quite high and my kids said "This house seems like a hotel".
>> Correct!
Or: It is quite high and my kids said, "This house seems like a hotel".

Maybe they are not still used to this place.
>> Correct!

There are five rooms here including a living room.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, I have my own room, which has a wider window, so I can see the view outside clearly.
>> Correct!

You can see this view tomorrow.
>> Correct!

A bad thing is that i'll take more time to go to my workplace.
>> Correct!
Or: A bad thing is that I'll take more time to go to my workplace.

And, I have to take my kids to their elementary school everyday.
>> Correct!

But, on the bright side, I can spend more time with my kids.
>> Correct!

My wife is busy cleaning the room and arranging many stuff.
>> Correct!

TV and water purifier didn't install yet, so we should call the service center tomorrow.
>> The TV and the water purifier aren't installed yet, so we should call the service center tomorrow.

Since we will face the new situation tomorrow morning, we should go to bed early tonight.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131472 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 3440
131471 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2207
131470 Memorable day ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 1794
131469 If you could change something in your past, what would it be? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131468 WRITING TASK: What are the advantages of an early bird? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 3
131467 My favorite sports ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2058
131466 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1873
131465 homework 10.05 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2153
131464 What\'s your thought on vegetarians or vegeans? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131463 HomeWork °í*ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 4242
131462 when I eat out °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131461 \"She must have provoked him into being abusive. They both must... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1
131460 Do you ever think that some music is just noise? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 0
131459 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131458 Do you want to become famous? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2274
131457 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 3
131456 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2318
131455 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1962
131454 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 3243
131453 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2549

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04