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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-04-19 354

회원님의 영작문

Hi, T.Donna.
After I came home, I ate some food, and then took a nap for a while.
Now I've woken up to do my homework.
Tonight, I didn't drink a whiskey.
Congratulations to me.
Regarding my clinic, there were negotiations for a salary raise.
Dr. MJ and I typically consider a salary raise when a staff worked for more than 3 months, 6 month, and 1 year.
We usually hire a transient worker for 3 months, after which we decide whether to hire them as a permanent worker or let them leave.
Today, we raised the salary of five staff, and they seemed to be so happy.
Meanwhile, our counseling manager made a mistake, so that I fixed it and taught her what she was confused about.
Regarding my assignment, I love to eat raw fish, especially flatfish. Flatfish is delicious and so easy to obtain, because human can cultivate that fish.
This Friday, my family move our house to a new place.
Our new apartment has a better view than now, so I really looking forward to the day of moving.
See you soon.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning, Dr. Kim!

You looked very well rested in class today. It is a a good thing to take some rest when you are burnt out so that you can level up your productivity. Thank you for accomplishing this homework answer right after waking up.

Many employers agree that salary increases should be primarily based on performance and experience. Companies require employees to show commitment to excellence and a guarantee of loyalty before offering a raise.
Instead of scheduling your pay increases for a specific date, you have the option to offer them when your employees reach a meaningful goal or when the company passes a significant milestone. Of course, you would know better since you handles your clinic for a long time.

Truly, there are many fishes in the sea and flatfish is your choice. In my case, amongst seafoods, the crabs, shrimps, seashells, squid, and octupus are on top of my list. Maybe fish had been a part of our regular diet eversince.

As evident on your composition, you had a very high frequncy of correct sentences below. Try to recognize some grammar patterns suggested on the latter sentences. 

Cheers and see you in your new home!

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

After I came home, I ate some food, and then took a nap for a while.
>> Correct!

Now I've woken up to do my homework.
>> Correct!

Tonight, I didn't drink a whiskey.
>> Correct!

Congratulations to me.
>> Correct!

Regarding my clinic, there were negotiations for a salary raise.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ and I typically consider a salary raise when a staff worked for more than 3 months, 6 month, and 1 year.
>> Correct!

We usually hire a transient worker for 3 months, after which we decide whether to hire them as a permanent worker or let them leave.
>> Correct!

Today, we raised the salary of five staff, and they seemed to be so happy.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, our counseling manager made a mistake, so that I fixed it and taught her what she was confused about.
>> Correct!
Or: Meanwhile, our counseling manager made a mistake, so I fixed it and taught her what she was confused about.

Regarding my assignment, I love to eat raw fish, especially flatfish. 
>> Correct!

Flatfish is delicious and so easy to obtain, because human can cultivate that fish.
>> Flatfish is delicious and so easy to obtain, because we can cultivate that fish.

This Friday, my family move our house to a new place.
>> This Friday, my family will move to our house to a new place.
Or: This Friday, my family will move to our new house.

Our new apartment has a better view than now, so I really looking forward to the day of moving.
>> Our new apartment has a better view than now, so I really look forward to the day of moving.

See you soon.
>> Correct!
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