¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Prepare crew response

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼­
2023-04-19 943

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

question-Advertise your hometown, please

Me-
I was born in busan. it is located in the southeastern part of korea. it takes about 4 hours by car from seoul.
It is a beautiful city by the sea.
Busan people are full of energy.
Busan is also famous for its film festival and the largest department store in the world.
Many tourists love going to resorts and restaurants with beautiful beaches.
If you like to relax while looking at the sea, there are hotels and restaurants that I would like to recommend.

(I'm introducing Busan, but do you think I'm talking about too many advantages?)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Tia,

You did a good job on your homework. A hometown is a place where you have lived your childhood and youth. It's important to always keep in mind what your hometown has taught you and how you were raised in such a beautiful place. We should write an essay in such a way that the readers are influenced by the article and are interested in visiting your hometown. So, it's okay if you said a lot of positive things about Busan. ^^

~Teacher Cathy

 

question-Advertise your hometown, please
>>Describe your hometown.
Me-

>>Here is my answer.
I was born in busan.

>> I was born in Busan.

it is located in the southeastern part of korea.

>> It is located in the South Eastern part of Korea.

it takes about 4 hours by car from seoul.

>> It takes about 4 hours by car from Seoul.

It is a beautiful city by the sea.

>>CORRECT

Busan people are full of energy.

>>CORRECT

OR>> The people of Busan are full of energy.

Busan is also famous for its film festival and the largest department store in the world.

>>CORRECT
Many tourists love going to resorts and restaurants with beautiful beaches.

>>CORRECT
If you like to relax while looking at the sea, there are hotels and restaurants that I would like to recommend.
>>CORRECT
(I'm introducing Busan, but do you think I'm talking about too many advantages?)

>>CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124443 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 1
124442 How would you feel if there weren¡¯t any holidays? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 608
124441 Christmas movies! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 615
124440 \"Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 713
124439 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 0
124438 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 606
124437 Is Christmas too commercial nowadays? How should a very... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 726
124436 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 616
124435 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 1
124434 What can we do to avoid eating junk food? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 1
124433 How to make feel happy for visitors. ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 502
124432 Romio and Juliet + Greek story ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 730
124431 Do you like reading comic strips? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 0
124430 Influence of policians and scientists ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 524
124429 Do you prefer to message or talk on the phone? Why? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-27 707
124428 Is going on a study abroad worth it? What are the advantages and... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 962
124427 12/26 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 645
124426 What are some chores you do outside your house? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 974
124425 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 587
124424 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-26 574

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04