¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Prepare crew response

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼­
2023-04-19 280

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

question-Advertise your hometown, please

Me-
I was born in busan. it is located in the southeastern part of korea. it takes about 4 hours by car from seoul.
It is a beautiful city by the sea.
Busan people are full of energy.
Busan is also famous for its film festival and the largest department store in the world.
Many tourists love going to resorts and restaurants with beautiful beaches.
If you like to relax while looking at the sea, there are hotels and restaurants that I would like to recommend.

(I'm introducing Busan, but do you think I'm talking about too many advantages?)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Tia,

You did a good job on your homework. A hometown is a place where you have lived your childhood and youth. It's important to always keep in mind what your hometown has taught you and how you were raised in such a beautiful place. We should write an essay in such a way that the readers are influenced by the article and are interested in visiting your hometown. So, it's okay if you said a lot of positive things about Busan. ^^

~Teacher Cathy

 

question-Advertise your hometown, please
>>Describe your hometown.
Me-

>>Here is my answer.
I was born in busan.

>> I was born in Busan.

it is located in the southeastern part of korea.

>> It is located in the South Eastern part of Korea.

it takes about 4 hours by car from seoul.

>> It takes about 4 hours by car from Seoul.

It is a beautiful city by the sea.

>>CORRECT

Busan people are full of energy.

>>CORRECT

OR>> The people of Busan are full of energy.

Busan is also famous for its film festival and the largest department store in the world.

>>CORRECT
Many tourists love going to resorts and restaurants with beautiful beaches.

>>CORRECT
If you like to relax while looking at the sea, there are hotels and restaurants that I would like to recommend.
>>CORRECT
(I'm introducing Busan, but do you think I'm talking about too many advantages?)

>>CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128409 talk about the meal you last ate or had. Use as many adjectives... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 573
128408 Mary Kay Ash said: \"People are definitely a company¡¯s greatest... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 5
128407 Describe the most confident person you know ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 587
128406 The gift that I want to receive on my birthday ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 489
128405 What is your favorite cartoon character and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 376
128404 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 462
128403 What do you do to loosen up after a busy exhausting day? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 634
128402 What are some ways to enjoy the summer vacation? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 458
128401 Have you been to a dinosaur museum? How was it? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 0
128400 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 721
128399 Do you think that governments should encourage public transport... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 432
128398 When do you prefer having a family gathering? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 762
128397 What have you lost while traveling? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 551
128396 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 0
128395 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 711
128394 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 664
128393 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 0
128392 How do we maintain a healthy lifestyle? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 1
128391 What noises don\'t you like? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 3
128390 Do you prefer hot countries or cool countries when you go on... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-23 512

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04