¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Prepare crew response

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼­
2023-04-19 286

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

question-Advertise your hometown, please

Me-
I was born in busan. it is located in the southeastern part of korea. it takes about 4 hours by car from seoul.
It is a beautiful city by the sea.
Busan people are full of energy.
Busan is also famous for its film festival and the largest department store in the world.
Many tourists love going to resorts and restaurants with beautiful beaches.
If you like to relax while looking at the sea, there are hotels and restaurants that I would like to recommend.

(I'm introducing Busan, but do you think I'm talking about too many advantages?)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Tia,

You did a good job on your homework. A hometown is a place where you have lived your childhood and youth. It's important to always keep in mind what your hometown has taught you and how you were raised in such a beautiful place. We should write an essay in such a way that the readers are influenced by the article and are interested in visiting your hometown. So, it's okay if you said a lot of positive things about Busan. ^^

~Teacher Cathy

 

question-Advertise your hometown, please
>>Describe your hometown.
Me-

>>Here is my answer.
I was born in busan.

>> I was born in Busan.

it is located in the southeastern part of korea.

>> It is located in the South Eastern part of Korea.

it takes about 4 hours by car from seoul.

>> It takes about 4 hours by car from Seoul.

It is a beautiful city by the sea.

>>CORRECT

Busan people are full of energy.

>>CORRECT

OR>> The people of Busan are full of energy.

Busan is also famous for its film festival and the largest department store in the world.

>>CORRECT
Many tourists love going to resorts and restaurants with beautiful beaches.

>>CORRECT
If you like to relax while looking at the sea, there are hotels and restaurants that I would like to recommend.
>>CORRECT
(I'm introducing Busan, but do you think I'm talking about too many advantages?)

>>CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128491 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 710
128490 homework 05.26 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 688
128489 Love is very important. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 547
128488 The language I want to learn ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 465
128487 What do you like doing at the beach? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 794
128486 What is you favorite mobile game to play? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 762
128485 homework:When do you prefer to have a family gathering? ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 378
128484 Do you think it\'s fair that so much of the world\'s wealth is... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 5
128483 I love my self! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 535
128482 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 0
128481 Should cell phones not be allowed in schools? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 439
128480 How do you stay heathy? Do you like exercising? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 0
128479 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 545
128478 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 590
128477 What is the implication of having an aging population? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 417
128476 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 559
128475 Homework for 05/23 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 2
128474 Homework for 05/24 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1
128473 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 770
128472 May.26 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 574

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04