¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree that a student¡¯s bullying records should reflect in university admissions and job appli

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2023-04-17 1008

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It can be the one of measures to prevent school bullying but I don't think that it is the major solution because there is a research that punishment is not the best way to decrease the crime rate. School bullying has became serious social problem in Korea. We can easily seen news about offenders among famous celebrities. It has disclosured from victims who were violated when they were a teenager. Victims have had hard time due to the nightmare at school and nobody cared of their pain. They were shocked after watching TV or media which were appeared school bullying offenders. It can be second violence for them because they have tried to forget their memory but if they saw successful life of offenders, they would be crazy. As a member of society, I strongly believe that criminals should be punished by the law strongly, but if they are students, I think we have to focus on moral education more than physical and mental punishment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

It can be the one of measures to prevent school bullying but I don't think that it is the major solution because there is a research that punishment is not the best way to decrease the crime rate. 
>> It can be one of the measures to prevent school bullying but I don't think that it is the major solution because there is a research that punishment is not the best way to decrease the crime rate. 
School bullying has became serious social problem in Korea. 
>> School bullying became a serious social problem in Korea. 
We can easily seen news about offenders among famous celebrities. 
>> We can easily see news about offenders among famous celebrities. 
It has disclosured from victims who were violated when they were a teenager. 
>> It has been disclosed by victims who were violated when they were a teenager. 
Victims have had hard time due to the nightmare at school and nobody cared of their pain. 
>> Victims have had hard time due to the nightmare at school and nobody cared about their pain. 
They were shocked after watching TV or media which were appeared school bullying offenders. 
>> They were shocked after watching TV or media which showed school bullying offenders. 
It can be second violence for them because they have tried to forget their memory but if they saw successful life of offenders, they would be crazy. 
>> CORRECT!
As a member of society, I strongly believe that criminals should be punished by the law strongly, but if they are students, I think we have to focus on moral education more than physical and mental punishment.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129771 favorite k drama ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-26 1801
129770 Homework for 07/20 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-26 1
129769 What is the best best color clothes for you for summer season? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-26 1578
129768 Homework for 07/24 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-26 2
129767 WRITING TASK: How often do you contact your friends? Is it... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-26 2
129766 Homework Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-26 3799
129765 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-07-26 2089
129764 Homework & Feedback ÁÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-26 2051
129763 On a special day. Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-26 1788
129762 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-25 3838
129761 How do you think this experience will impact the lives of the... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-25 2
129760 homework 07.25 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-25 2442
129759 What is the food that you dislike the most? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-25 2075
129758 actor ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-25 2551
129757 What would our life be like without computers and other digital... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-25 0
129756 What do you think is the impact to clients when you cancel a... ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-25 1
129755 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-25 1418
129754 Is it still possible for a person to become successful even if... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-25 2284
129753 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-25 1260
129752 Homework ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-07-25 2932

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04