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Essay

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*¸²
2023-04-14 218

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

[introduce your star]
Have you ever seen figure skating performance?
My favorite star is Kim Yuna, a queen of figure skating.
She won medals in all competitions, so she set an all-podium record for the first time in woman figure skaters.
I have known her since I was 7 years old.
This is because I watched her performance and it looked a butterfly to be flying on the ice.
Also I liked the attitude of not giving up though it was tired
So I would like to resemble her patience.
It is Because she practiced hard to achieve her goal even though it was hard.
If I have a chance to meet her, I want to tell her that your performance was the best thing that I have ever seen.
Although she is not a figure skater anymore, I want to see her on the ice for another figure skater¡¯s coach.
(It must be more than 6 words and contain (v5 ) and (have pp)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thanks for this as well Hanah! Don't hesitate to send me essays. I will gladly be checking them. Have a good day!

Have you ever seen figure skating performance?
>>>  Have you ever seen figure skating performances?
>>> OR: Have you ever seen a figure skating performance?
My favorite star is Kim Yuna, a queen of figure skating.
>>>  correct 
She won medals in all competitions, so she set an all-podium record for the first time in woman figure skaters.
>>>  correct 
I have known her since I was 7 years old.
>>>  correct 
This is because I watched her performance and it looked a butterfly to be flying on the ice.
>>> This is because I watched her performance and it looked like a butterfly flying on the ice.  
Also, I liked the attitude of not giving up though it was tired
>>> Moreover, I liked the attitude of not giving up though she was tired.
So I would like to resemble her patience.
>>>  correct
It is because she practiced hard to achieve her goal even though it was hard.
>>> correct 
If I have a chance to meet her, I want to tell her that your performance was the best thing that I have ever seen.
>>> If I have a chance to meet her, I want to tell her that her performance was the best thing that I have ever seen. 
Although she is not a figure skater anymore, I want to see her on the ice for another figure skater¡¯s coach.
>>> Although she is not a figure skater anymore, I want to see her on the ice as another figure skater¡¯s coach.
(It must be more than 6 words and contain (v5 ) and (have pp)
>>> ... 
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