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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I don\'t do social media.

작성자: 윤*혜
2023-04-13 806

회원님의 영작문

I don't use social media because when I was younger, I used that but it wasn't good for me
I was spending all my time for it, and I was always nervous because I was wondering who liked my pictures
And then some point, I understand this is not good for me

So I don't use social media now, but sometimes I used it
Because my friends use it and I was wondering what people thought.

And I wasn't interested in celebrities,
So I didn't even follow them

And the only celebrity I'm interested in is you, teacher :)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Da Hye,

Many people in today's world use social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, YouTube, and Instagram to find and connect with others. While each has its advantages, it is essential to keep in mind that social media will never be able to replace face-to-face interaction. Everyone is different and there is no specific amount of time spent on social media, or the frequency you check for updates, or the number of posts you make that indicates your use is becoming unhealthy. Rather, it has to do with the impact time spent on social media has on your mood and other aspects of your life, along with your motivations for using it. If, for instance, your use of social media causes you to put off having real-life relationships, keeps you from going to work or school, or makes you feel jealous, angry, or sad, it could be a problem. Essentially, in the event that you're roused to utilize social media since you're exhausted or desolate, or need to present something on make others envious or upset, it very well might be an ideal opportunity to reconsider your social media habits.

~Teacher Cathy ^^


I don't use social media because when I was younger, I used that but it wasn't good for me

>>I don’t use social media anymore because I realized it wasn’t good for me when I was using it before.

I was spending all my time for it, and I was always nervous because I was wondering who liked my pictures

>>I spend all of my time on it, and I was always anxious about wondering who liked my photos.

And then some point, I understand this is not good for me

>>And then at some point, I understood that this is not good for me.

So I don't use social media now, but sometimes I used it

>>So, I don’t use social media now as much as before.

Because my friends use it and I was wondering what people thought.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Because my friends use it and I always kept wondering what people thought.

And I wasn't interested in celebrities, So I didn’t even follow them.

>>CORRECT

OR>>And I didn’t have any interest in celebrities, so I don’t follow any.

And the only celebrity I'm interested in is you, teacher :)

>>CORRECT

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130657 Homework 김*서 완료 2023-08-31 2
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130653 Do you think punishments should be strict or people should be... 복*훈 완료 2023-08-31 4
130652 Homework 김* 완료 2023-08-31 0
130651 What did you like to do when you were a child? 김*연 완료 2023-08-31 4
130650 WRITING TASK: When do you treat your friends? 임*지 완료 2023-08-31 4
130649 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG 완료 2023-08-31 762
130648 Do you prefer traveling alone or traveling with family and... 김*연 완료 2023-08-31 2
130647 A mobile phone 김*아 완료 2023-08-31 2
130646 How do you feel about not taking a risk at all? 이*태 완료 2023-08-31 1719
130645 How do you feel about advising your friends? 이*태 완료 2023-08-31 1339
130644 Do you think bullies still have the chance to change? Why or why... 김*경 완료 2023-08-31 1597
130643 What are the best ways to keep yourself fit? 김*경 완료 2023-08-31 1575
130642 Do we have a special responsibility to help others even though... 이*태 완료 2023-08-31 1942
130641 What are the pros and cons of keeping a pet? 조*민 완료 2023-08-31 1380
130640 Homework 김*님 완료 2023-08-30 1043
130639 What do you think are the biggest challenges facing transgenders... 김*민 완료 2023-08-30 3
130638 I like hanging out 류*원 완료 2023-08-30 2

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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