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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I don\'t do social media.

작성자: 윤*혜
2023-04-13 940

회원님의 영작문

I don't use social media because when I was younger, I used that but it wasn't good for me
I was spending all my time for it, and I was always nervous because I was wondering who liked my pictures
And then some point, I understand this is not good for me

So I don't use social media now, but sometimes I used it
Because my friends use it and I was wondering what people thought.

And I wasn't interested in celebrities,
So I didn't even follow them

And the only celebrity I'm interested in is you, teacher :)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Da Hye,

Many people in today's world use social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, YouTube, and Instagram to find and connect with others. While each has its advantages, it is essential to keep in mind that social media will never be able to replace face-to-face interaction. Everyone is different and there is no specific amount of time spent on social media, or the frequency you check for updates, or the number of posts you make that indicates your use is becoming unhealthy. Rather, it has to do with the impact time spent on social media has on your mood and other aspects of your life, along with your motivations for using it. If, for instance, your use of social media causes you to put off having real-life relationships, keeps you from going to work or school, or makes you feel jealous, angry, or sad, it could be a problem. Essentially, in the event that you're roused to utilize social media since you're exhausted or desolate, or need to present something on make others envious or upset, it very well might be an ideal opportunity to reconsider your social media habits.

~Teacher Cathy ^^


I don't use social media because when I was younger, I used that but it wasn't good for me

>>I don’t use social media anymore because I realized it wasn’t good for me when I was using it before.

I was spending all my time for it, and I was always nervous because I was wondering who liked my pictures

>>I spend all of my time on it, and I was always anxious about wondering who liked my photos.

And then some point, I understand this is not good for me

>>And then at some point, I understood that this is not good for me.

So I don't use social media now, but sometimes I used it

>>So, I don’t use social media now as much as before.

Because my friends use it and I was wondering what people thought.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Because my friends use it and I always kept wondering what people thought.

And I wasn't interested in celebrities, So I didn’t even follow them.

>>CORRECT

OR>>And I didn’t have any interest in celebrities, so I don’t follow any.

And the only celebrity I'm interested in is you, teacher :)

>>CORRECT

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
133189 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Are you... 앨* 완료 2023-12-13 1
133188 homework 정*호 완료 2023-12-13 0
133187 Homework 김*서 완료 2023-12-13 0
133186 Homework 류*우 완료 2023-12-13 1267
133185 Do you like keeping a diary? What do you want to write about? 이*빈 완료 2023-12-13 1832
133184 Do you think it\'s okay to drink rainwater? Why or why not? 이*빈 완료 2023-12-13 1334
133183 How much spend time for doing my hair 박*율 완료 2023-12-13 1647
133182 What was the lamest excuse you have heard of? 신*섭 완료 2023-12-13 1766
133181 Online shopping 이*솔 완료 2023-12-13 622
133180 >> Do you like meeting new people? 이*민 완료 2023-12-13 1
133179 With the current economic situation and safety concerns in many... 이*원 완료 2023-12-13 1
133178 Survey 권*정 완료 2023-12-13 1
133177 Letter 박*준 완료 2023-12-13 2
133176 The power of social media 임*진 완료 2023-12-13 1733
133175 Homework 장*희 완료 2023-12-13 1
133174 Is it necessary to have a reunion every year? 권*지 완료 2023-12-13 2
133173 School debate 김*민 완료 2023-12-13 1515
133172 SElf introduction 이*영 완료 2023-12-13 1253
133171 Homework 김*님 완료 2023-12-13 1259
133170 Should drunk drivers have their driver\'s licenses permanently... 김*규 완료 2023-12-13 2

HOW TO USE IT?

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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