¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The big event which made me change

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿µ
2023-04-13 901

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As you know, I got an accident so i've broken my ankle. That accident kind of event made change the attitude about my healthy.
Before the accident, I didn't much care about my healthy. I easily skip the meal and ignore the advice which my mom usually said like "YOU SHOULD TAKE A VITAMIN EVERY SINGLE DAY!". I've had low blood pressure so I felt dizziness often but I didn't care and kept my bad lifestyle.
After the accident, I realize the importance of healthy care. So, I have the meal 3 times in a day also take a vitamin well.
I'm not sure these things are working well or not, but I guess the placebo effect works so the good life habit made me feel relieve.
I hope, even though I'll get better from now, I still keep doing healthy lifestyle with some exercising.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ellen, 
The reality is that changing your life starts with changing the way you see everything in your life. Change can be a difficult and slow process, but if you can see things just a little differently, you can start to see big progress. Changing your thinking is not only to be more optimistic but giving your mind the breathing room it needs to grow and expand. And change can help you become more focused in your life and know what you want out of it. When you experience changes, it can create a ripple effect. This can affect everything in your life, including your relationship. ~ Teacher QUENNY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As you know, I got an accident so i've broken my ankle. That accident kind of event made change the attitude about my healthy.
>> As you know, I got an accident so I've broken my ankle. That accident was a kind of event that made changed my attitude about my health.
Before the accident, I didn't much care about my healthy. I easily skip the meal and ignore the advice which my mom usually said like "YOU SHOULD TAKE A VITAMIN EVERY SINGLE DAY!". I've had low blood pressure so I felt dizziness often but I didn't care and kept my bad lifestyle.
>> Before the accident, I didn't care much about my health. I easily skip the meal and ignore the advice which my mom usually said like "YOU SHOULD TAKE A VITAMIN EVERY SINGLE DAY!". I've had low blood pressure so I often felt dizzy but I didn't care and kept my bad lifestyle.
After the accident, I realize the importance of healthy care. So, I have the meal 3 times in a day also take a vitamin well.
>> After the accident, I realize the importance of health care. So, I have a meal 3 times a day and also take a vitamin well.
I'm not sure these things are working well or not, but I guess the placebo effect works so the good life habit made me feel relieve.
>> I'm not sure if these things are working well or not, but I guess the placebo effect works so the good life habit made me feel relieved.
I hope, even though I'll get better from now, I still keep doing healthy lifestyle with some exercising.
>> I hope, even though I'll get better now, I still keep doing a healthy lifestyle with some exercise.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As you know, I got an accident so i've broken my ankle. That accident kind of event made change the attitude about my healthy.
Before the accident, I didn't much care about my healthy. I easily skip the meal and ignore the advice which my mom usually said like "YOU SHOULD TAKE A VITAMIN EVERY SINGLE DAY!". I've had low blood pressure so I felt dizziness often but I didn't care and kept my bad lifestyle.
After the accident, I realize the importance of healthy care. So, I have the meal 3 times in a day also take a vitamin well.
I'm not sure these things are working well or not, but I guess the placebo effect works so the good life habit made me feel relieve.
I hope, even though I'll get better from now, I still keep doing healthy lifestyle with some exercising.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129120 Please correct my sentence ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 4
129119 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1509
129118 crops ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129117 homework 06.27 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 2466
129116 Homework 6/26 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129115 What hobbies do you enjoy? Why? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1831
129114 The fiercest animal that I have seen ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1948
129113 Can you kill insects in your house? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1199
129112 I disagree! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1199
129111 What is the best place in your country? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 2
129110 What are some effective measures social media platforms can... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1955
129109 How can media contribute to overcoming societal divisions? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 2077
129108 What is your opinion about the rising number of young people... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1824
129107 What are the disadvantages and advantages of online education? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 2823
129106 Do you like shopping? Offline or online? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129105 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129104 writing exercise ¼­*ÅÃ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1792
129103 6/27 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 2480
129102 Writing Task 0626 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129101 How good are you at playing sports? How could you be better? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04