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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Is it worth to study abroad?

작성자: 조*인
2023-04-12 365

회원님의 영작문

I think it is worth to study abroad.

Most of all, studying in foreign country makes people open minded. When people study abroad they should make friends from varies cultures; on the other hand, who study in their native don’t have to make friends from other country. Making foreign friends improves their tolerance for other people’s culture. For example, when my friend Sion was in high school, she couldn’t understand wester people’s love culture. She though that they are dating too lightly without true love and respect. However, She is changed little by little after she had got date with a guy from US who is met during she is in France as a collage student. They understood each other’s different culture of love through their relationship and they can learned positive aspects of each other’s culture. Now she can embrace their date style. If she did not go to abroad for study, she can not meet her x-boyfriend and she can not understand wester people’s relationship culture forever.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for your homework, Jessica!

Just keep going and you'll be great!

-Hanna ^^

I think it is worth to study abroad.

>>I think it is worth it to study abroad.
Most of all, studying in foreign country makes people open minded. 

>>Most of all, studying in a foreign country makes people become open minded.

When people study abroad they should make friends from varies cultures; on the other hand, who study in their native don’t have to make friends from other country. 

>>When people study abroad, they should make friends from various cultures; on the other hand, those who study their native language doesn't have to make friends from other countries.

Making foreign friends improves their tolerance for other people’s culture. 

>>Making foreign friends improve their tolerance on other people's culture.

For example, when my friend Sion was in high school, she couldn’t understand wester people’s love culture. 

>>For example, when my friend Sion was in high school, she couldn't understand western people's love culture.

She though that they are dating too lightly without true love and respect. 

>>She thought that they are dating too lightly without true love and respect.

However, She is changed little by little after she had got date with a guy from US who is met during she is in France as a collage student. 

>>However, she has changed little by little after she dated a guy from the U.S. who whom she met in France as a college student.

They understood each other’s different culture of love through their relationship and they can learned positive aspects of each other’s culture. 

>>They understood each other's different culture of love through their relationship and they learned some positive aspects of each other's culture.

Now she can embrace their date style. 

>>Correct.

If she did not go to abroad for study, she can not meet her x-boyfriend and she can not understand wester people’s relationship culture forever.

>>If she did not go abroad to study, she wouldn't meet her ex-boyfriend and she wouldn't understand western people's relationship culture forever.
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127584 Homework 박*민 완료 2023-04-18 3
127583 What toy do you enjoy playing the most? 박*현 완료 2023-04-18 203
127582 homework 신*현 완료 2023-04-18 291
127581 homework 04.18 최*� 완료 2023-04-18 284
127580 How many languages do you know? Would you like to learn more? 정*화 완료 2023-04-18 205
127579 Are friends sometimes more important than family? 김*인 완료 2023-04-18 5
127578 It’s more important for school children to learn about their... 앨* 완료 2023-04-18 0
127577 Homework 최*영 완료 2023-04-18 365
127576 How many languages do you know? Would you like to learn more? 신*섭 완료 2023-04-18 205
127575 Homework 박*은 완료 2023-04-18 0
127574 Tuesday Homework 류*우 완료 2023-04-18 280
127573 Home work 김*란 완료 2023-04-18 0
127572 When did you last have an overnight stay in another city? 이*태 완료 2023-04-18 192
127571 My pronunciation! 김*윤 완료 2023-04-18 155
127570 Which one are you usually low on? 이*태 완료 2023-04-18 133
127569 Homework 신*화 완료 2023-04-18 149
127568 Homework 김*우 완료 2023-04-18 169

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첨삭이 가능하며,

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03
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