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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-04-12 484

회원님의 영작문

Hello, T.Donna.
Did you have a lunch?
Actually, we were supposed to meet some man at lunch time.
He is the marketing manager of other clinic, and I've known him for a long time.
Two days ago, his friend who is a male joined our clinic, and he was supposed to be our clinic today to give some advices to his friend.
However, he couldn't make it, becuase he got a high fever this morning.
Nevertheless, our two male managers, Dr. MJ, and I ate a lunch together.
It was so awkward.
Dr. MJ acted like a strict boss and two managers had a silence.
Even the lunch was not good.
There are no patients now, hence I can chat with my college friend.
He texted me that he is so depressed, because of the problem of relationship between him and his wife.
Many people around me got divorced or will divorce.
I was sure that they had good relationships with their wives before, and, in conclusion, it turns out I was wrong.
Regarding my homework, Always relationship is more important than money for me.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, good evening, Dr. Kim! 
I had a reheat lunch from last night's dinner. I feel weak today but I still ate a lot! I will not lose weight after all...

As for your awkward lunch, I came accross a reading today that says, 

"A healthy relationship between a boss and his or her employee is essential for the success of a business. People stray away from negative energy. Strict bosses who exert negative energy in a workplace carelessly build a gap between themselves and their employees. This obstructs fluent and free communication within a workplace and hampers job satisfaction. Strict bosses who present negativity in a workplace do a bad job of managing the employees, unless the employees share this negative outlook with their boss. If the entire team fosters this negative energy in a workplace, small problems build into big issues and, eventually, employees will start worry about retaining their jobs. "

This means that Dr. MJ better chill and take it easy with your employees. Nevertheless, I wonder what food you ate today. Maybe the food tastes better when the mood is good. ^^

Nowadays, money fuels relationships. It is a great factor for married couples to sustain their basic needs. After all, being happy is hard with an empty stomach. Your words about divorce among the people you know reminds me of a song. If you have time, listen to it: "What's forever for" by Michael Murphy.

As in the past, you always maintain clarity of thought and a high consistency of innovating your sentences by using different grammar patterns. Excellent job on your homework!

Catch you later!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Did you have a lunch?
>> Correct!

Actually, we were supposed to meet some man at lunch time.
>> Correct!

He is the marketing manager of other clinic, and I've known him for a long time.
>> Correct!

Two days ago, his friend who is a male joined our clinic, and he was supposed to be our clinic today to give some advices to his friend.
>> Two days ago, his friend who is a male joined our clinic, and he was supposed to be in our clinic today to give some pieces of advice to his friend.
Or: Two days ago, his male friend joined our clinic, and he was supposed to be in our clinic today to give some pieces of advice to his friend.

However, he couldn't make it, becuase he got a high fever this morning.
>> Correct!

Nevertheless, our two male managers, Dr. MJ, and I ate a lunch together.
>> Nevertheless, our two male managers, Dr. MJ, and I ate lunch together.

It was so awkward.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ acted like a strict boss and two managers had a silence.
>> Dr. MJ acted like a strict boss and the two managers were silent.

Even the lunch was not good.
>> Correct!

There are no patients now, hence I can chat with my college friend.
>> Correct!

He texted me that he is so depressed, because of the problem of relationship between him and his wife.
>> Correct!

Many people around me got divorced or will divorce.
>> Correct!

I was sure that they had good relationships with their wives before, and, in conclusion, it turns out I was wrong.
>> Correct! Very good sentence and expressions!

Regarding my homework, Always relationship is more important than money for me.
>> Correct!
Or: Regarding my homework, relationship is always more important than money for me.

See you.
>> Correct!
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04

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