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Do you have a five year plan for your life?

작성자: 장*은
2023-04-12 1739

회원님의 영작문

Yes I have plans that I want to achieve in five years.
The most important plan is my job. I should change my job as soon as possible.
My salary is so low I think and it isn't enough to me.
I can't do something that I want to do, I can't save money as I want to save.
Of course I am a young person, but sometimes I hear about the big company employees' salary.
Those people get paid over twice than mine. At that time, I feel bitter. kkk
Next, I want to achieve a step of golf pro in five years. Now I'm studying about golf, but I'm not good yet.
I can't hit the ball fast and strongly.When my golf skill goes over an orbit, I'll go to the golf field with my family
Third, I want to travel to Europe in 5 years. I've never been to Europe before, I've only been to asia, so it is my dream.
Finally, I will buy a car before my 30 comes.
5 years look like a long period, but when I am belong in that period, it is not a long time.
So I'm not sure that I can achieve those goals.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Gem!
You did a fantastic job in your composition today! I'm impressed! I hope all of these goals will be met five years from now. You can do it! 
~~Teacher Kate 

Yes I have plans that I want to achieve in five years.
>>CORRECT!
The most important plan is my job. 
>>The most important plan is about my job. 
I should change my job as soon as possible.
>>CORRECT!
My salary is so low I think and it isn't enough to me.
>>I think my salary is so low and it isn't enough for me.
I can't do something that I want to do, I can't save money as I want to save.
>>CORRECT!
Of course I am a young person, but sometimes I hear about the big company employees' salary.
>>CORRECT!
Those people get paid over twice than mine. At that time, I feel bitter. kkk
>>Those people get paid twice than me. At that time, I feel bitter.
Next, I want to achieve a step of golf pro in five years. 
>>Next, I want to be a step closer to being a golf pro in five years. 
Now I'm studying about golf, but I'm not good yet.
>>Now I'm studying about golf, but I'm not good at it yet.
I can't hit the ball fast and strongly.
>>CORRECT!
When my golf skill goes over an orbit, I'll go to the golf field with my family.
>>CORRECT!
Third, I want to travel to Europe in 5 years. 
>>CORRECT!
I've never been to Europe before, I've only been to asia, so it is my dream.
>>CORRECT!
Finally, I will buy a car before my 30 comes.
>>Finally, I will buy a car before I reach my 30s. 
5 years look like a long period, but when I am belong in that period, it is not a long time.
>>5 years look like a long period of time, but when I belong in that period, it is not a long time.
So I'm not sure that I can achieve those goals.
>>CORRECT!
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