¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should violent video games be banned in South Korea? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±¸*¿ì
2023-04-09 162

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think we don't have to do it. It's because if we ban to violent video games, people will get complaints about why they have not to play a violent video game even they commit some criminal things by playing violent games. Also I think banning violent video games are taking out their freedom to play it. So, It shouldn't ban violent games in South Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Daisy. ^^
Thank you for diligently writing an essay about this topic. 
I agree that banning violent games is like suppressing other people's freedom to enjoy their free time. 
However, in my opinion, violent games should only be allowed among adults and not among young people so that, if they commit crimes because of playing violent games, they can be held accountable for them. 
Anyhow, that is my opinion about the matter. 
I hope you're doing great. ^^
See you later in class. :)
~Teacher Charry

I
 think we don't have to do it. 
>> CORRECT!
It's because if we ban to violent video games, people will get complaints about why they have not to play a violent video game even they commit some criminal things by playing violent games. 
>> It's because if we ban violent video games, people will complain about why they can't play violent video games even if there's a chance that they can commit some crimes from playing violent games. 
Also I think banning violent video games are taking out their freedom to play it. 
>> Also, I think banning violent video games is like suppressing other people's freedom from playing it. 
So, It shouldn't ban violent games in South Korea.
>> So, we shouldn't ban violent games in South Korea.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127287 Should people be more concerned about In particular? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-09 2
127286 What do you think is the disadvantage of using solar power? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-04-09 0
127285 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-09 146
127284 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-09 90
127283 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-09 68
127282 It is so hard to define world of the art. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-09 4
127281 If I change one thing ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-09 0
127280 How would you feel and react if you woke up one morning in a... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-09 138
127279 While not directly related to the main point of the article, do... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-09 195
127278 Do you think there should be a law that requires everyone to... ±è*½½ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-08 171
127277 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-08 146
127276 How do you take a breather these days? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-08 1
127275 If you have more money right now, how will you invest it? Share... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-04-08 4
127274 Korean traditional Thanksgiving ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-08 158
127273 In your opinion, what are the keys for a successful marriage? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-07 3
127272 Write down answer for speaking task about \'Neighborhood\' ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-04-07 4
127271 In your opinion, what are the keys for a successful marriage? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-07 2
127270 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-07 0
127269 When you are stressed, how do you feel physically? Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-07 267
127268 Who is always willing to help you even when you don\'t ask for... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-07 131

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04