¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should violent video games be banned in South Korea? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±¸*¿ì
2023-04-09 279

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think we don't have to do it. It's because if we ban to violent video games, people will get complaints about why they have not to play a violent video game even they commit some criminal things by playing violent games. Also I think banning violent video games are taking out their freedom to play it. So, It shouldn't ban violent games in South Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Daisy. ^^
Thank you for diligently writing an essay about this topic. 
I agree that banning violent games is like suppressing other people's freedom to enjoy their free time. 
However, in my opinion, violent games should only be allowed among adults and not among young people so that, if they commit crimes because of playing violent games, they can be held accountable for them. 
Anyhow, that is my opinion about the matter. 
I hope you're doing great. ^^
See you later in class. :)
~Teacher Charry

I
 think we don't have to do it. 
>> CORRECT!
It's because if we ban to violent video games, people will get complaints about why they have not to play a violent video game even they commit some criminal things by playing violent games. 
>> It's because if we ban violent video games, people will complain about why they can't play violent video games even if there's a chance that they can commit some crimes from playing violent games. 
Also I think banning violent video games are taking out their freedom to play it. 
>> Also, I think banning violent video games is like suppressing other people's freedom from playing it. 
So, It shouldn't ban violent games in South Korea.
>> So, we shouldn't ban violent games in South Korea.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128451 Do you think you are good at adapting to new changes? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 700
128450 Greeting kind that annoys me ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 571
128449 Send a written output about your part-time job in a few... ÀÓ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 2
128448 Traveling alone ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 561
128447 5/25 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 552
128446 The characteristics of territory ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 419
128445 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 733
128444 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 721
128443 An effect of advertisement is great. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1
128442 What are the causes and effects of poverty? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1
128441 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 551
128440 What other food would you like to try? ¹è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 450
128439 homework 05.24 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 677
128438 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 564
128437 Homework ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 618
128436 In your opinion, is it hard to look for a venue? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 1
128435 My favorite animation character ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 418
128434 Question ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 2
128433 What do you do in your free time? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 676
128432 How can you convince someone to take a position he/she doesn\'t... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-24 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04