¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should violent video games be banned in South Korea? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±¸*¿ì
2023-04-09 1196

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think we don't have to do it. It's because if we ban to violent video games, people will get complaints about why they have not to play a violent video game even they commit some criminal things by playing violent games. Also I think banning violent video games are taking out their freedom to play it. So, It shouldn't ban violent games in South Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Daisy. ^^
Thank you for diligently writing an essay about this topic. 
I agree that banning violent games is like suppressing other people's freedom to enjoy their free time. 
However, in my opinion, violent games should only be allowed among adults and not among young people so that, if they commit crimes because of playing violent games, they can be held accountable for them. 
Anyhow, that is my opinion about the matter. 
I hope you're doing great. ^^
See you later in class. :)
~Teacher Charry

I
 think we don't have to do it. 
>> CORRECT!
It's because if we ban to violent video games, people will get complaints about why they have not to play a violent video game even they commit some criminal things by playing violent games. 
>> It's because if we ban violent video games, people will complain about why they can't play violent video games even if there's a chance that they can commit some crimes from playing violent games. 
Also I think banning violent video games are taking out their freedom to play it. 
>> Also, I think banning violent video games is like suppressing other people's freedom from playing it. 
So, It shouldn't ban violent games in South Korea.
>> So, we shouldn't ban violent games in South Korea.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133266 test sample Te*002 ÁøÇàÁß 2023-12-15 1755
133265 What springs to mind when you hear the word \'MONDAY\'? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 3
133264 Do you worry about cyber crime? Why? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 1937
133263 diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 1
133262 Should children be allowed to use social networking sites? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 2134
133261 Change My Appearance ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 1854
133260 What kind of neighbor do you prefer to have? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 2221
133259 If you could choose one lifestyle to maintain, what would it be... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 3041
133258 What are the activities that your friends love doing but not for... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 1690
133257 Is there any skill that you are having a hard time learning? If... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 1958
133256 >>> Can you recall (without looking) who and what are on your... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 2033
133255 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 1191
133254 Homework 9 ±Ç*Å ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 2072
133253 Homework 8 ±Ç*Å ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 1100
133252 Homework 8 ±Ç*Å ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 1831
133251 Homework 7 ±Ç*Å ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 1183
133250 Would you prefer to have a big family with many children, a... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 2
133249 superaged ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 1612
133248 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 1
133247 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04