¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should violent video games be banned in South Korea? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±¸*¿ì
2023-04-09 1389

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think we don't have to do it. It's because if we ban to violent video games, people will get complaints about why they have not to play a violent video game even they commit some criminal things by playing violent games. Also I think banning violent video games are taking out their freedom to play it. So, It shouldn't ban violent games in South Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Daisy. ^^
Thank you for diligently writing an essay about this topic. 
I agree that banning violent games is like suppressing other people's freedom to enjoy their free time. 
However, in my opinion, violent games should only be allowed among adults and not among young people so that, if they commit crimes because of playing violent games, they can be held accountable for them. 
Anyhow, that is my opinion about the matter. 
I hope you're doing great. ^^
See you later in class. :)
~Teacher Charry

I
 think we don't have to do it. 
>> CORRECT!
It's because if we ban to violent video games, people will get complaints about why they have not to play a violent video game even they commit some criminal things by playing violent games. 
>> It's because if we ban violent video games, people will complain about why they can't play violent video games even if there's a chance that they can commit some crimes from playing violent games. 
Also I think banning violent video games are taking out their freedom to play it. 
>> Also, I think banning violent video games is like suppressing other people's freedom from playing it. 
So, It shouldn't ban violent games in South Korea.
>> So, we shouldn't ban violent games in South Korea.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136123 companion animal ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 0
136122 I use the sentence words ½Å*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1000
136121 When are the best times for silence? Some people say that... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1113
136120 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1342
136119 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1420
136118 Talk about a memorable meal you have had. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1504
136117 Talk about a problem in your community and propose a solution. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 2050
136116 Discuss a place you would like to visit in the future. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1197
136115 Compare traveling alone with traveling with friends or family.... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1067
136114 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1607
136113 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1784
136112 Which topics do you avoid when you talk with someone for the... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 23
136111 Why are some people pessimists? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1271
136110 What is the essence of flower festivals in your country? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 2
136109 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1560
136108 What position would you avoid playing in soccer? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1682
136107 Why is it important to reflect on our experiences? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1054
136106 What did you do on your last birthday? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 4
136105 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 2
136104 Which car brand would you like to buy next? Why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04