¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

When you are stressed, how do you feel physically?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àå*Àº
2023-04-07 855

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'm not a sensitive person so I rarely get stressed out.
And I have no symptoms when I get stressed out I think.
But my father is a very exquisite person.
He is vulnerable to stress and he is stressed easily.
When he is stressful about something, he says nothing about the reason to nobody.
And he eats few of dishes, can\'t sleep well, his weight goes down and his face becomes gray.
My mom looks my father\'s change. Her face becomes gray, too, and she is worried about the
situations that haven\'t happen yet. She often cries because of her imagination.
It is a vicious circle.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Gem!
Please teach me how to not be easily stressed haha. Anyway, this is a very good showing of your improving writing skills. Keep it up.
~~Teacher Kate 

I'm not a sensitive person so I rarely get stressed out.
>>CORRECT! (NOTE: PLEASE TEACH ME HOW TO DO THAT HAHA )
And I have no symptoms when I get stressed out I think.
>>And I have no physical signs when I get stressed out I think.
But my father is a very exquisite person.
>>But my father is a very delicate person.
He is vulnerable to stress and he is stressed easily.
>>CORRECT!
When he is stressful about something, he says nothing about the reason to nobody.
>>When he is stressed about something, he says nothing about the reason to anybody.
And he eats few of dishes, can\'t sleep well, his weight goes down and his face becomes gray.
>>And he barely eats, can't sleep well, his weight goes down and his face becomes gray.
My mom looks my father\'s change. 
>>My mom notices the change in my father. 
Her face becomes gray, too, and she is worried about the situations that haven\'t happen yet. 
>>Her face becomes gray, too, and she worries about the situations that haven't happened yet. 
She often cries because of her imagination.
>>CORRECT!
It is a vicious circle.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130378 What is the best place to live in Korea? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2515
130377 What things in your home couldn\'t you live without? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2931
130376 homework essay(2023. 8. 22.) ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1
130375 WRITING TASK: What is a good hotel for you? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2
130374 First impressions last È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 3189
130373 What are the things that people should consider when they travel... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2143
130372 message ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 7
130371 How important is tourism to your country? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 0
130370 What do you have strong opinions on? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1
130369 How important is your safety and well-being? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 0
130368 execution ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1847
130367 Mission ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2151
130366 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2736
130365 8/22 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 4
130364 How can the world make sure human rights are protected? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 3062
130363 Create your final spiel ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2607
130362 When do you prefer having a family gathering ÀÌ*¾ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2712
130361 Last weekend, I went¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2300
130360 If you received a threat online, how would you deal with it? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 2
130359 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 2648

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04