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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-04-03 583

회원님의 영작문

Hi, T.Donna.
Of course, there were too many clients in the clinic as always, but there was nothing bad, so I somewhat was satisfied with today.
Three new staff joined our clinic and I hope that they will work with us for a long time.
Since it was not too busy, I could do many administrative works.
Although a chief manager and a counselling manager quit the job, rest of employees did their job best.
As a result, I didn't feel any discomfort to see patients and do aesthetic procedures to clients.
After all our work, I visited Dr.Bae's clinic which I worked for about six years.
That's because there was something to help him simply.
That clinic has been changed somewhat, but I felt so familiar with that place for sure.
Fortunately, Dr.Bae's clinic looked be getting better; actually, I heard that he had only few patients in the beginning, so I was worried about it.
Meanwhile, I am now almost starving to death.
However, I should stand it.
I look forward to our clinic's success.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day once again, Dr. Kim!

Customers have so many different choices yet they choose your clinic for their needs. The idea that companies must “delight” their customers has become so crucial in business like yours.  It is essential that you understand your client's needs and business goals, and how you can achieve goals for your clients benefit. As mentioned before, a positive workplace environment is extremely critical to the overall success of your company. It makes your employees feel secure and motivated, and also gives them a sense of success in the tasks they need to perform.

Meanwhile, franchisees rely on franchisors to provide them with excellent training and support, to give them the benefit of their experience, and the tools to get their business started off right. If both parties aren't dedicated to honesty and trust, it will be difficult to develop a strong relationship.You have given Dr. Bae more than he deserves and he shall remember you as his very kind mentor regardless of your younger age.

Finally, eating at the right times matter a lot for ou. You will want to plan for regular, balanced meals to avoid high or low blood sugar levels. Eating about the same amount of carbs at each meal can be helpful. Your eating plan will also teach you how to stick with your plan at home and when you eat out. This is according to what I have read from the Internet.

Nevertheless, I wish you a hassle-free day this Tuesday. Great job in achieving variations of sentences as well as maintaining a unique style of writing.

Catch you later.

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Of course, there were too many clients in the clinic as always, but there was nothing bad, so I somewhat was satisfied with today.
>> Of course, there were too many clients in the clinic as always, but there was nothing bad, so I was somewhat satisfied today.

Three new staff joined our clinic and I hope that they will work with us for a long time.
>> Correct!

Since it was not too busy, I could do many administrative works.
>> Correct!

Although a chief manager and a counselling manager quit the job, rest of employees did their job best.
>> Although a chief manager and a counselling manager quit their jobs, the rest of employees did their job best.

As a result, I didn't feel any discomfort to see patients and do aesthetic procedures to clients.
>> Correct!

After all our work, I visited Dr.Bae's clinic which I worked for about six years.
>> After all our work, I visited Dr.Bae's clinic where I worked for about six years.

That's because there was something to help him simply.
>> Correct!
Or: That's because there was something I helped him with simply.

That clinic has been changed somewhat, but I felt so familiar with that place for sure.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, Dr.Bae's clinic looked be getting better; actually, I heard that he had only few patients in the beginning, so I was worried about it.
>> Fortunately, Dr.Bae's clinic looked getting better; actually, I heard that he had only a few patients in the beginning, so I was worried about it./ Very good sentence!

Meanwhile, I am now almost starving to death.
>> Correct!

However, I should stand it.
>> Correct!

I look forward to our clinic's success.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
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