무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What are some of the best ways to teach good manners to children?

작성자: 이*아
2023-04-02 276

회원님의 영작문

Children learn how to become savage and selfish from the people who surround them. In other words, the environments and places where they are close affect their personalities, and also children always copy others' behaviors. To teach good manners to children, they should listen and watch appropriate things for them. Teaching good manners to children is challenging because children eventually listen and watch bad things. When we learn subjects that teaching in school, it is not difficult because we can just memorize them. But learning good manners is different, it may need plenty of time to change from the memory to the actions, or it may not be possible. So, children should listen and watch appropriate things for them and also they should have the ability to judge right and wrong. In conclusion, children have to learn which behaviors are right or not, and adults should show the right behaviors to them. "Behavior is the mirror in which everyone shows their image"(Johann Wolfgang).

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great examples, Su A! These are indeed some of the things parents and adults alike should do in order to positively influence the children around them. I appreciate the quote you placed at the end as it certainly suits the theme of your essay. However, I would recommend that you place it at the beginning instead as it would serve as a wonderful introductory quote for your readers~  By reading the quote at the start of your composition, readers will get an idea that you are going to talk about how behavior can be mirrored.  Overall, you provided good supporting statements, so well done! 
~T.Harmony <3

Children learn how to become savage and selfish from the people who surround them. 
>> CORRECT!
In other words, the environments and places where they are close affect their personalities, and also children always copy others' behaviors. 
>> ,... and places they are close to, affect their personalities. Apart from that, children have the tendency to copy (or imitate) the behavior of others.
To teach good manners to children, they should listen and watch appropriate things for them. 
>> CORRECT!
Teaching good manners to children is challenging because children eventually listen and watch bad things. 
>> ...because children will eventually listen to and watch sources of bad influence.
When we learn subjects that teaching in school, it is not difficult because we can just memorize them. 
>> When we learn about the subjects being taught in school,...
But learning good manners is different, it may need plenty of time to change from the memory to the actions, or it may not be possible. 
>> ...or it may not be possible at all.
So, children should listen and watch appropriate things for them and also they should have the ability to judge right and wrong. 
>> ...the ability to judge right from wrong.
In conclusion, children have to learn which behaviors are right or not, and adults should show the right behaviors to them. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> ...adults should be an exemplary role model to them.
"Behavior is the mirror in which everyone shows their image"(Johann Wolfgang).
>> CORRECT!
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
126230 How important is keeping old files? 양*은 완료 2023-03-05 151
126229 2. Homework - May I take your order? 곽*숙 완료 2023-03-05 179
126228 Describe an important gift you have, tell us why it is important. 김*율 완료 2023-03-05 232
126227 The voice phishing 민*정 완료 2023-03-05 1
126226 2. Homework- Conversation Protocol 곽*숙 완료 2023-03-05 153
126225 Where did you go for your last vacation? 곽*숙 완료 2023-03-05 149
126224 Homework 김*우 완료 2023-03-05 148
126223 If I had a few time a day~~ 김*님 완료 2023-03-05 283
126222 Most recent case that has changed my life 구*미 완료 2023-03-05 4
126221 HOMEWORK 오*봄 완료 2023-03-05 5
126220 Lesson 15: Homework 김*혜 완료 2023-03-04 189
126219 question about pronunciation. 오*봄 완료 2023-03-04 6
126218 The best advice. 조*영 완료 2023-03-04 5
126217 Who is the most important person in your life and why? 신*섭 완료 2023-03-04 144
126216 what is the most stressful or traumatizing situation you\'ve... 신*섭 완료 2023-03-04 142
126215 uni 5. homework 공*우 완료 2023-03-04 153
126214 Favarit restaurant 김*호 완료 2023-03-04 140
126213 Who is the most important person in your lift and Why? 정*화 완료 2023-03-04 145
126212 What effective measures can the Ministry of Health and Welfare... 김*국 완료 2023-03-04 2
126211 What are some of the advantages of cooking your meals at home?... 김*국 완료 2023-03-04 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]