¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing task

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*Çü
2023-03-30 1159

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that human is the most dangerous factor. And the war is the most brutal event among people. So Ukraine is too dangerous to visit these days. Ukraine and Russia are fighting in Ukraine for 2 years. We can get involved in the war. By the way, I hope that they stop the war now.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Friday, Robin!
Wow! You did great in your composition. I can really see that you can express yourself better now. I just added a different way to say some sentences, but overall, all your sentences are correct. Keep it up.
-T. Caitlyn
I think that human is the most dangerous factor. 
>> CORRECT
And the war is the most brutal event among people. 
>> OR: War is one of the most brutal events that can occur among people.
So Ukraine is too dangerous to visit these days.
>> CORRECT
Ukraine and Russia are fighting in Ukraine for 2 years. 
>> OR: The war between Ukraine and Russia in Ukraine has been ongoing for two years.
We can get involved in the war. 
>> CORRECT
By the way, I hope that they stop the war now.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124654 The importance of saving money ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 802
124653 Do you have a best friend? How long have you been best friends? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 728
124652 Drinking culture of Korea ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 1
124651 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 5
124650 Where do you feel most centered and happy? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 668
124649 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 863
124648 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 0
124647 What\'s your thought on the new law in Indonesia about making... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 3
124646 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 0
124645 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 774
124644 What do you think are the key skills you will need in the future? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 1898
124643 Fairy at the amusement park!? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 756
124642 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 1
124641 What do I need to know before living in an apartment? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 812
124640 Having new things ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 700
124639 My expectation from the class and teacher ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 869
124638 What do you need pocket money for? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 809
124637 1/4 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-01-05 598
124636 Should junk food be banned in schools? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 952
124635 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-04 861

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04