¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing task

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*Çü
2023-03-30 738

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that human is the most dangerous factor. And the war is the most brutal event among people. So Ukraine is too dangerous to visit these days. Ukraine and Russia are fighting in Ukraine for 2 years. We can get involved in the war. By the way, I hope that they stop the war now.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Friday, Robin!
Wow! You did great in your composition. I can really see that you can express yourself better now. I just added a different way to say some sentences, but overall, all your sentences are correct. Keep it up.
-T. Caitlyn
I think that human is the most dangerous factor. 
>> CORRECT
And the war is the most brutal event among people. 
>> OR: War is one of the most brutal events that can occur among people.
So Ukraine is too dangerous to visit these days.
>> CORRECT
Ukraine and Russia are fighting in Ukraine for 2 years. 
>> OR: The war between Ukraine and Russia in Ukraine has been ongoing for two years.
We can get involved in the war. 
>> CORRECT
By the way, I hope that they stop the war now.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128482 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 0
128481 Should cell phones not be allowed in schools? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 945
128480 How do you stay heathy? Do you like exercising? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 0
128479 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1087
128478 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1327
128477 What is the implication of having an aging population? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 888
128476 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 949
128475 Homework for 05/23 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 2
128474 Homework for 05/24 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1
128473 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1337
128472 May.26 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1130
128471 Answer : How important is meat in your country? Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 893
128470 Submit a written output about the first impression of your... ÀÓ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 0
128469 The bad behavior is not good things. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1306
128468 homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 971
128467 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 822
128466 homework 05.25 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1087
128465 What are you afraid of? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 3
128464 What are the best and worst things about being wealthy? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 4
128463 What advice would you give to a friend who is trying to overcome... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 808

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04