¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing task

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*Çü
2023-03-30 378

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that human is the most dangerous factor. And the war is the most brutal event among people. So Ukraine is too dangerous to visit these days. Ukraine and Russia are fighting in Ukraine for 2 years. We can get involved in the war. By the way, I hope that they stop the war now.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Friday, Robin!
Wow! You did great in your composition. I can really see that you can express yourself better now. I just added a different way to say some sentences, but overall, all your sentences are correct. Keep it up.
-T. Caitlyn
I think that human is the most dangerous factor. 
>> CORRECT
And the war is the most brutal event among people. 
>> OR: War is one of the most brutal events that can occur among people.
So Ukraine is too dangerous to visit these days.
>> CORRECT
Ukraine and Russia are fighting in Ukraine for 2 years. 
>> OR: The war between Ukraine and Russia in Ukraine has been ongoing for two years.
We can get involved in the war. 
>> CORRECT
By the way, I hope that they stop the war now.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127070 3.31 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 208
127069 today\'s homework Ãß*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 96
127068 death penalty ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 308
127067 Homework 1 ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 204
127066 Homework ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 982
127065 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 2
127064 Dear Queeny, ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 3
127063 Emotions ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 1
127062 Hello. ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 2
127061 Skin deep! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 342
127060 I prefer mountains to beaches ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 146
127059 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 0
127058 Do you agree with the saying \"Money can buy happiness\" ? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1
127057 24.Mar.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 3
127056 HOMRWORK ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 0
127055 Homework ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 129
127054 amusement park rides ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 157
127053 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 3
127052 Would you date someone introduced by a friend you met online? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 0
127051 I job do you want in the future? Why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04