¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-03-30 1020

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, there.
It's completely spring Today.
I can feel hot air all day.
In Korea, these days all people can take off the mask everywhere, except the clinic and hospital.
It means all koreans will be getting interested in their appearance more.
In conclusion, we will have more clients who are willing to pay for their beauty.
It's a good thing to both of us; Dr.MJ and me
Regarding the traditional medicine, there are many things to tell you.
To make a short, traditional medicine is not safe and efficient relatively.
Grass and plants have many ingredients.
No one knows every ingredients and interactions among them.
However, many Korean tradional doctor(actually, I don't want to call them "doctor") insisted that their medicine are safe and more useful in some cases like terminal cancer, immune disease.
It's 100% bullshit.
They even request that they can use a modern device.
If their level are superior or at least similar to modern medical, they don't need to use any modern devices.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

With warm spring weather comes a new season d reasont to smile without a mask there in South Korea. Plastic surgery is not a new trend for your country. As life gets longer by years, there is the goal to look younger. Then, I wish your clinic efficiency to be able to make those faces beam with that perfect smile.

As I was reading some information from the Internet, it says, '¡°Hanyak¡± is a type of traditional Korean medicine that uses herbal and folk remedies to treat illnesses. It features influences from traditional Chinese medicine. A person may use it alongside Western contemporary treatments, making it a type of complementary medicine, or as a stand-alone form of care.Hanyak is one component of Han bang, which is the broader umbrella of traditional Korean medicine that incorporates acupuncture, moxibustion, cupping, and herbal remedies. It focuses on balancing the energies of the body and the elements of earth, fire, water, metal, and wood."

These sound like a massage therapy to me. ^^ In reality, they can be very dangerous for people who do not get the correct diagnosis of their disease. I think you can discuss this further in class tomorrow.

Your attempt of creating creative sentences is successful. I like your style of straightforward and not sugarcoated opinion. Keep it up!

See you soon!

-T. Donna~

Hi, there.
>> Correct!

It's completely spring Today.
>> Correct!

I can feel hot air all day.
>> Correct!
Or: I can feel the hot air all day.

In Korea, these days all people can take off the mask everywhere, except the clinic and hospital.
>> In Korea, these days all people can take off their mask everywhere, except in the clinic and hospital.

It means all koreans will be getting interested in their appearance more.
>> Correct!

In conclusion, we will have more clients who are willing to pay for their beauty.
>> Correct!

It's a good thing to both of us; Dr.MJ and me
>> Correct! (Add period at the end of the sentence.)

Regarding the traditional medicine, there are many things to tell you.
>> Correct!

To make a short, traditional medicine is not safe and efficient relatively.
>> To make it short, traditional medicine is not safe and not efficient in any way. 

Grass and plants have many ingredients.
>> Correct!

No one knows every ingredients and interactions among them.
>> Correct!

However, many Korean tradional doctor(actually, I don't want to call them "doctor") insisted that their medicine are safe and more useful in some cases like terminal cancer, immune disease.
>> However, many Korean tradional doctors (actually, I don't want to call them "doctor") insisted that their medicine are safe and more useful in some cases like terminal cancer, or immune diseases.

It's 100% bullshit.
>> Correct! LOL! ^^

They even request that they can use a modern device.
>> Correct!

If their level are superior or at least similar to modern medical, they don't need to use any modern devices.
>> If their level are superior or at least similar to modern medicine, they don't need to use any modern devices.

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126553 Use the following words in a sentence ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1364
126552 If you could only wear one color for the rest of your life, what... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1312
126551 Homework ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 0
126550 . I can _______. to swim swim swimming 2. She _______ ride a... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 0
126549 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 0
126548 Can people change their meat consumption? Answer in a few... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1
126547 what do you usually do when you go on a vacation trip? ±è*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1473
126546 I have a lot of ways when I relax myself À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1361
126545 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 849
126544 3.15 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 957
126543 Why is English fluency significant for you? õ*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1
126542 What\'s the nicest gift you have received from your friends? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1247
126541 How much nature is there where you live? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1447
126540 Is there such a thing as a natural leader? Can a person learn to... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1648
126539 what are your greatest professional strengths? ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1
126538 What are the most important features when determining someone\'s... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1380
126537 Have you ever intoduced yourself to a stranger in public? what... ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1482
126536 Laughter ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 3
126535 3.15 homewokr ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1445
126534 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04