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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-03-29 505

회원님의 영작문

Good afternoon, T.Donna.
After I heard about Dr.MJ's divorce, I felt so bad about it.
As you know, I argued with my wife last monday morning.
And she texted me that she wanted to divorce.
Thus, I thought of that word "divorce" all day.
I couldn't give up my family to keep my selfish pride.
Divorce usually brings unhappiness, I think.
I couldn't focus on my work this morning.
I thought I knew his family well, but I didn't.
Although Dr. MJ insisted that he told me about his divorce before, I actually can't believe it.
When he wants to hide his weak points, he sometimes lies.
I know this very well.
He tried to show me his best look, but I noticed that he felt bad about it; The fact that I knew about his divorce.
To prevent a breakup, we should consider the situation that my partner faced.
Sometime, our people just want us to empathize with them.
If I am healthy in both of physical and mental, I can empathize with my wife the most.
Thus, I have to keep my body and mind healthy.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

When a friend or a close person to you breaks down in relationship , it is challenging to know what to say to someone going through hard times. Everyone suffers from loss differently. It is impossible to predict how anyone will react to news of a divorce. For some, divorce is a welcome end to a marriage that isn’t working. For others, it can be the most devastating experience they will ever go through. If you do not know what to say to a friend going through divorce, you better not speak about it until Dr. MJ will be ready to tell all about it.

Perhaps you felt  a level of deception somehow- betrayal and distrust between your relational partner at work. Deception crosses relational rules considered to be a negative violation of your expected norms. In short, as a colleague and a brother, he should have at least told you the truth. But as aforementioned, Dr. MJ has his reasons he will reveal in time.

I wish I could say meaningful things about marriage and how to keep it last but you are the better person to do that. What I know is that, marriage is a vow and a commitment people make- a decision to choose only that one person forever as Corinthians 13, 4-7 in the Bible states: 

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

The strength of your essay lies in its authenticity of experience and cohesive and grammatically correct sentences. 

See you soon!

-T. Donna~
 
Good afternoon, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

After I heard about Dr.MJ's divorce, I felt so bad about it.
>> Correct!

As you know, I argued with my wife last monday morning.
>> Correct!

And she texted me that she wanted to divorce.
>> Correct!

Thus, I thought of that word "divorce" all day.
>> Correct!

I couldn't give up my family to keep my selfish pride.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

Divorce usually brings unhappiness, I think.
>> Correct!

I couldn't focus on my work this morning.
>> Correct!

I thought I knew his family well, but I didn't.
>> Correct!

Although Dr. MJ insisted that he told me about his divorce before, I actually can't believe it.
>> Correct!

When he wants to hide his weak points, he sometimes lies.
>> Correct!

I know this very well.
>> Correct!

He tried to show me his best look, but I noticed that he felt bad about it; The fact that I knew about his divorce.
>> Correct! Excellent sentence!
Or: He tried to show me his best look but I noticed that he felt bad about it; the fact that I knew about his divorce.

To prevent a breakup, we should consider the situation that my partner faced.
>> To prevent a breakup, we should consider the situation that our partner face.

Sometime, our people just want us to empathize with them.
>> Sometimes, our people just want us to empathize with them.

If I am healthy in both of physical and mental, I can empathize with my wife the most.
>> Correct!

Thus, I have to keep my body and mind healthy.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
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