¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-03-29 870

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good afternoon, T.Donna.
After I heard about Dr.MJ's divorce, I felt so bad about it.
As you know, I argued with my wife last monday morning.
And she texted me that she wanted to divorce.
Thus, I thought of that word "divorce" all day.
I couldn't give up my family to keep my selfish pride.
Divorce usually brings unhappiness, I think.
I couldn't focus on my work this morning.
I thought I knew his family well, but I didn't.
Although Dr. MJ insisted that he told me about his divorce before, I actually can't believe it.
When he wants to hide his weak points, he sometimes lies.
I know this very well.
He tried to show me his best look, but I noticed that he felt bad about it; The fact that I knew about his divorce.
To prevent a breakup, we should consider the situation that my partner faced.
Sometime, our people just want us to empathize with them.
If I am healthy in both of physical and mental, I can empathize with my wife the most.
Thus, I have to keep my body and mind healthy.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

When a friend or a close person to you breaks down in relationship , it is challenging to know what to say to someone going through hard times. Everyone suffers from loss differently. It is impossible to predict how anyone will react to news of a divorce. For some, divorce is a welcome end to a marriage that isn¡¯t working. For others, it can be the most devastating experience they will ever go through. If you do not know what to say to a friend going through divorce, you better not speak about it until Dr. MJ will be ready to tell all about it.

Perhaps you felt  a level of deception somehow- betrayal and distrust between your relational partner at work. Deception crosses relational rules considered to be a negative violation of your expected norms. In short, as a colleague and a brother, he should have at least told you the truth. But as aforementioned, Dr. MJ has his reasons he will reveal in time.

I wish I could say meaningful things about marriage and how to keep it last but you are the better person to do that. What I know is that, marriage is a vow and a commitment people make- a decision to choose only that one person forever as Corinthians 13, 4-7 in the Bible states: 

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

The strength of your essay lies in its authenticity of experience and cohesive and grammatically correct sentences. 

See you soon!

-T. Donna~
 
Good afternoon, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

After I heard about Dr.MJ's divorce, I felt so bad about it.
>> Correct!

As you know, I argued with my wife last monday morning.
>> Correct!

And she texted me that she wanted to divorce.
>> Correct!

Thus, I thought of that word "divorce" all day.
>> Correct!

I couldn't give up my family to keep my selfish pride.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

Divorce usually brings unhappiness, I think.
>> Correct!

I couldn't focus on my work this morning.
>> Correct!

I thought I knew his family well, but I didn't.
>> Correct!

Although Dr. MJ insisted that he told me about his divorce before, I actually can't believe it.
>> Correct!

When he wants to hide his weak points, he sometimes lies.
>> Correct!

I know this very well.
>> Correct!

He tried to show me his best look, but I noticed that he felt bad about it; The fact that I knew about his divorce.
>> Correct! Excellent sentence!
Or: He tried to show me his best look but I noticed that he felt bad about it; the fact that I knew about his divorce.

To prevent a breakup, we should consider the situation that my partner faced.
>> To prevent a breakup, we should consider the situation that our partner face.

Sometime, our people just want us to empathize with them.
>> Sometimes, our people just want us to empathize with them.

If I am healthy in both of physical and mental, I can empathize with my wife the most.
>> Correct!

Thus, I have to keep my body and mind healthy.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131259 What happens to old people in your family? Do they live with... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-24 0
131258 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-24 2
131257 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-24 0
131256 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-24 0
131255 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-24 1320
131254 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-24 0
131253 Latest trends in South Korea ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-24 1214
131252 What features and functions of a car do you need most? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-24 1
131251 Do you think it\'s a good idea to study English Literature in... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-24 1
131250 today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-24 1263
131249 What was your best friendship? Are you still friends with him or... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-23 1200
131248 If your friend or family has committed a serious crime, how... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-23 1342
131247 What animal best represents you? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-23 1085
131246 Why do you think that people still vote for the wife or... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1
131245 Homework Àü*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 0
131244 homework 09.22 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1533
131243 What is your favorite video game? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1526
131242 Which family holiday is your favorite?ᩚ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1310
131241 H.w. ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1337
131240 Dangers of having our own business ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1160

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04