¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

When do you say that a person is overexercising?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*½½
2023-03-28 557

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Although It is quiet ambigous criterion to judge whether over-excercising or not, we can generally say that a person is over-exercising when a person feels a burden after finishing the excercising.
For example, I make a conclusion as I am overexcercising when i am extremely tired and feel muscle pain.
This pain makes me hard to climbing a stair and walking so it give a lots of burden for my daily life.
Therefore it is very important to confirm a one's work out level and set a proper objective of excercise :-)(I realized this time haha).
Also, it is very necessary to take proper meals to provide fluent nutrition to our body after finishing the excercise since we lose some calories during workout.
Anyway, I feel that I have to take several rest days to recover my body. I will start my next excercise on thursday or friday :-)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Kate!
Thank you for this composition and I am impressed with how you have used your vocabulary.  So for this composition, I am just rewriting and providing you with tiny corrections, especially on spelling and punctuation. In general, you did a wonderful job!
Enjoy the rest of the day!
Aki~
 
Although It is quiet ambigous criterion to judge whether over-excercising or not, we can generally say that a person is over-exercising when a person feels a burden after finishing the excercising.
>>> Although It is quite an ambiguous criterion to judge whether over-exercising or not, we can generally say that a person is over-exercising when a person feels a burden after finishing the exercise.

For example, I make a conclusion as I am overexcercising when i am extremely tired and feel muscle pain.
>>>  For example, I make a conclusion as I am overexercising when I am extremely tired and feel muscle pain.

This pain makes me hard to climbing a stair and walking so it give a lots of burden for my daily life.
>>>  This pain makes me hard to climb a stair and walk so it gives me a lot of burden on my daily life.

Therefore it is very important to confirm a one's work out level and set a proper objective of excercise :-)(I realized this time haha).
>>>  Therefore it is very important to confirm one's workout level and set a proper objective for exercise.

Also, it is very necessary to take proper meals to provide fluent nutrition to our body after finishing the excercise since we lose some calories during workout.
>>>  Also, it is very necessary to take proper meals to provide fluent nutrition to our body after finishing the exercise since we lose some calories during the workout

Anyway, I feel that I have to take several rest days to recover my body. I will start my next excercise on thursday or friday :-)
>>> Anyway, I feel that I have to take several rest days to recover my body. I will start my next exercise on Thursday or Friday 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128100 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 686
128099 Describe some good news you have recently received? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 652
128098 If there is something you want to eat the whole day what would... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1
128097 May 9 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 490
128096 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 660
128095 consolation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1
128094 Do you think it\'s necessary to be aware of the news and current... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 666
128093 5/9 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 570
128092 How do you feel when you meet people with a long face? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 655
128091 Homework for 05/08 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 640
128090 Do you have a favorite song? What is it and why do you like it? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 649
128089 Homework Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1
128088 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 2
128087 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 651
128086 5.May.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1
128085 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1
128084 Is it important to be an organized person? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1
128083 What would you do if you noticed a crime being committed? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1
128082 Should the voting age be lowered to 16? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 2
128081 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-08 635

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04