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영작교정 게시판

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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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How does the article make you feel about AI?

작성자: 이*아
2023-03-26 611

회원님의 영작문

This article is brilliant, of course. This shows how the modern days have developed; also: it shows an amazing development of technology. However, sometimes, I want to deny these days. People have made robots like real humans, they feel happy and encourage to develop more than now, and they just focus on new things. But that also means the value of humans becomes meaningless. Robots do everything instead of humans, they are stealing our lives and jobs; even our role as one of society. I agree with the idea, that humans should be changed to be suitable in modern days. But it should have a proper line that we should not go further than that line. This is my idea about that article: even though this is not directly relevant to the topic. However, I want a society, which is made up of humans; not robots. AI is an amazing technology, but AI without humans; is nothing special. Does AI make people happy? Isn't that just for fun and confidence?

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

I wholly agree with you on this, Su A!  There are many pros and cons to AI, but in some situations, the cons heavily outweigh the pros. You did a good job pointing out the fact that they have stolen some roles and livelihood of people. Adding it as an example will leave an impact to your readers because they, too, are humans. It will instill a sense of fear and concern about the possibility of AI taking over the world. I would also like to commend you for your statement near the end of the essay where you wrote that AI without humans is nothing special.  Well done!
~ T.Harmony <3

This article is brilliant, of course. 
>> CORRECT!
This shows how the modern days have developed; also: it shows an amazing development of technology. 
>> CORRECT!
However, sometimes, I want to deny these days. 
>> CORRECT!
People have made robots like real humans, they feel happy and encourage to develop more than now, and they just focus on new things. 
>> ..., they feel happy and are encouraged to be even more developed while only focusing on new things.
But that also means the value of humans becomes meaningless. 
>> CORRECT!
Robots do everything instead of humans, they are stealing our lives and jobs; even our role as one of society. 
>> Robots are starting to take over the roles of humans. For example, they have replaced real people in certain jobs and left them unemployed.
I agree with the idea, that humans should be changed to be suitable in modern days. 
>> CORRECT!
But it should have a proper line that we should not go further than that line. 
>> But there should be boundaries that should never be crossed.
This is my idea about that article: even though this is not directly relevant to the topic. 
>> CORRECT!
However, I want a society, which is made up of humans; not robots. 
>> CORRECT!
AI is an amazing technology, but AI without humans; is nothing special. 
>> CORRECT! (Nice statement!)
Does AI make people happy? 
>> CORRECT!
Isn't that just for fun and confidence?
>> CORRECT!
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