¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think air pollution will be a bigger issue ten years from now or not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2023-03-26 182

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Air pollution would not be a bigger issue ten years from now. Of course, air pollution has been a more significant issue already; not ten years later; NOW! Burning fossil fuels, releasing carbon dioxide, methane gases, and other chemical gases into the air, etc have caused air pollution in recent days. We must seriously think about this issue. The atmosphere is divided into five layers; exosphere, thermosphere, mesosphere, stratosphere, and troposphere. Especially, weather that affects our day-to-day lives on earth occurs in the troposphere. This is the lowest region of the atmosphere, and it extends 13 kilometers above the surface of the earth. But air pollution has affected the troposphere which becomes weaker and thinner. So, the sunlight becomes stronger, and the earth has been heating. This is the cause of global warming. Air pollution is not just a problem in our daily life. This is the main reason for the process of all destruction of nature. We must go back to the past.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

You did well adding a lot of factual information in your essay, Su A!  You made a good point about air pollution being a major issue that we've already been facing nowadays. Including a variety of statistics in your essay helps educate your readers to become more aware about the problems brought by global warming. As for my suggestion, you can also end your essay with words of encouragement that will motivate and inspire your readers to contribute to the efforts being made to lessen the destruction of air pollution. ^^ Thank you, Su A! 
~T.Harmony <3

Air pollution would not be a bigger issue ten years from now. 
>> CORRECT!
Of course, air pollution has been a more significant issue already; not ten years later; NOW! 
>> CORRECT!
Burning fossil fuels, releasing carbon dioxide, methane gases, and other chemical gases into the air, etc have caused air pollution in recent days. 
>> CORRECT!
We must seriously think about this issue. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> We must take this issue seriously and ponder on it.
The atmosphere is divided into five layers; exosphere, thermosphere, mesosphere, stratosphere, and troposphere. 
>> CORRECT!
Especially, weather that affects our day-to-day lives on earth occurs in the troposphere. 
>> In particular, the weather that...
This is the lowest region of the atmosphere, and it extends 13 kilometers above the surface of the earth. 
>> CORRECT!
But air pollution has affected the troposphere which becomes weaker and thinner. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> ...which has become weaker and thinner.
So, the sunlight becomes stronger, and the earth has been heating. 
>> ..., and the Earth has been suffering from strong heatwaves.
This is the cause of global warming. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> This is the consequence of global warming.
Air pollution is not just a problem in our daily life. 
>> CORRECT!
This is the main reason for the process of all destruction of nature. 
>> CORRECT!
We must go back to the past.
>> CORRECT!
OR>> We must return to the past.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126080 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 113
126079 Would you prefer to live in a house or an apartment? Why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 136
126078 Do adult children need to have a financial obligation to their... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 2
126077 Is Korea a good place to live and retire in? ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1
126076 HOMEWORK FOR TODAY: DIRECTION: ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1
126075 Do you worry about cybercrime? Why or why not? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 147
126074 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 175
126073 Homework ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1
126072 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 122
126071 homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 108
126070 Lesson 13: Homework ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 195
126069 In your opinion, what types of food should people consume to... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 133
126068 Do you like to go back to your team and make amends? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1
126067 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1
126066 What is the worst season in your country? ¹è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 121
126065 What are your chances of getting a call from LEGO? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1
126064 What is the first step of moving on? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1
126063 How different are hobbies now from hobbies in the past? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 141
126062 Throw ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 1
126061 Are you optimistic or pessimistic about artificial intelligence... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-28 249

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04