¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think air pollution will be a bigger issue ten years from now or not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2023-03-26 89

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Air pollution would not be a bigger issue ten years from now. Of course, air pollution has been a more significant issue already; not ten years later; NOW! Burning fossil fuels, releasing carbon dioxide, methane gases, and other chemical gases into the air, etc have caused air pollution in recent days. We must seriously think about this issue. The atmosphere is divided into five layers; exosphere, thermosphere, mesosphere, stratosphere, and troposphere. Especially, weather that affects our day-to-day lives on earth occurs in the troposphere. This is the lowest region of the atmosphere, and it extends 13 kilometers above the surface of the earth. But air pollution has affected the troposphere which becomes weaker and thinner. So, the sunlight becomes stronger, and the earth has been heating. This is the cause of global warming. Air pollution is not just a problem in our daily life. This is the main reason for the process of all destruction of nature. We must go back to the past.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

You did well adding a lot of factual information in your essay, Su A!  You made a good point about air pollution being a major issue that we've already been facing nowadays. Including a variety of statistics in your essay helps educate your readers to become more aware about the problems brought by global warming. As for my suggestion, you can also end your essay with words of encouragement that will motivate and inspire your readers to contribute to the efforts being made to lessen the destruction of air pollution. ^^ Thank you, Su A! 
~T.Harmony <3

Air pollution would not be a bigger issue ten years from now. 
>> CORRECT!
Of course, air pollution has been a more significant issue already; not ten years later; NOW! 
>> CORRECT!
Burning fossil fuels, releasing carbon dioxide, methane gases, and other chemical gases into the air, etc have caused air pollution in recent days. 
>> CORRECT!
We must seriously think about this issue. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> We must take this issue seriously and ponder on it.
The atmosphere is divided into five layers; exosphere, thermosphere, mesosphere, stratosphere, and troposphere. 
>> CORRECT!
Especially, weather that affects our day-to-day lives on earth occurs in the troposphere. 
>> In particular, the weather that...
This is the lowest region of the atmosphere, and it extends 13 kilometers above the surface of the earth. 
>> CORRECT!
But air pollution has affected the troposphere which becomes weaker and thinner. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> ...which has become weaker and thinner.
So, the sunlight becomes stronger, and the earth has been heating. 
>> ..., and the Earth has been suffering from strong heatwaves.
This is the cause of global warming. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> This is the consequence of global warming.
Air pollution is not just a problem in our daily life. 
>> CORRECT!
This is the main reason for the process of all destruction of nature. 
>> CORRECT!
We must go back to the past.
>> CORRECT!
OR>> We must return to the past.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126900 Which animal makes the best pet? Why? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-25 122
126899 Which one do you think is better, getting married early or... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-25 206
126898 Are you good at fixing things at home? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-25 1
126897 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-25 212
126896 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-25 108
126895 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-25 1
126894 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-25 1
126893 What are some examples of bad manners that you hate? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-03-25 197
126892 Is aging more difficult for men or women? Why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-03-25 260
126891 Homework ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-25 278
126890 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-25 259
126889 Where do you think the best place to raise a family is? Why? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-25 48
126888 Who is mainly responsible for a child¡¯s academic success - the... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-25 4
126887 Homework ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 387
126886 The summer vibe! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 0
126885 I think my daily life is normal À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 180
126884 English lessons À±*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 89
126883 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 3
126882 homework 03.24 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 119
126881 Hw ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-24 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04